diamond geezer

 Tuesday, March 06, 2018

I cannot believe how badly Arsenal are playing.

They played Brighton at the weekend and they lost. Before that they played Manchester City, twice, and they lost. Before that they played some Swedish team in the Europa League and they lost. The shame of it. I have barely been able to sleep for weeping.

Obviously all of this is Arsene Wenger's fault. The man has shown himself totally incapable of running a successful team. He must resign, or he should be kicked out, and then our glory days will begin again.

I have no actual experience of football management, but it's obvious to me that Arsene's reign is at an end. His 22 years in charge include three Premiership wins and seven FA Cup triumphs, but the last four matches prove his golden touch is gone and he must go. It's not important who replaces him. All that matters is that he is replaced, and the new guy will obviously be much better. In my expert opinion sacking a manager always solves every problem, returning any team to a winning streak, and I'm sure this will be no exception.

I mean look, Brighton are much lower in the league than Arsenal, but they still beat us on Sunday and they shouldn't have done. The statistics speak for themselves. Meanwhile Manchester City are much higher in the league than Arsenal, indeed higher than everyone, so are arguably the better team. But as a fan I never let allow facts to get in the way of blind faith. We should have beaten Manchester City because we are Arsenal, indeed I firmly believe we should always beat every other team every time because all true supporters always do.

I don't understand how we keep on losing matches. It makes no sense that we should lose so many on the trot, unless Arsene's innate uselessness is to blame. He's led the team to many great victories over two decades, but the thing about football is that only the last results matter, and they're rubbish, so he must go.

I rolled a dice once, several times in a row. It came up six a lot to start with, because my powers were strong, but later I threw four consecutive 1s and was forced to give myself the sack. I understand probability even less than I understand football, but I believe this to be a rock solid analogy.

Arsene is such an appalling manager that this year we crashed out of the FA Cup in the 3rd round. I was so embarrassed by our performance that I could barely show my face for days. My team has a God-given right to win the FA Cup every year, and I am always massively upset when we fail to do so. Obviously we are the current holders, which is more than any other team can boast, but I refuse to let this fact cheer me up. The silverware won't be at the Emirates after May 19th, and this inevitable loss is the focus of my relentless misery.

I'm also gutted that we lost the League Cup Final. Having got all the way to the last match at Wembley, the very least we deserved was to win. I sometimes think it's far worse to get knocked out right at the end of a tournament than to lose right at the start. Technically I know that by reaching the final we were better than every other team in the league bar one, but we didn't win, and that makes the entire competition a crushing disappointment. Bloody Arsene bloody Wenger.

I'm also distraught that we're still in the last 16 of the Europa League, because that's rubbish. Various lesser clubs would give their eye teeth to be in the Europa League, but a team which spent 20 consecutive years in the Champions League deserves better. And if Arsene's inherent incompetence ensures we don't even manage to qualify for the Europa League next year, then I might as well go to bed early on Thursday evenings, because I won't have anything left to despair at.

Sometimes I shout at the television to make the team play harder. I know they're listening. I yell at Wilshere to run faster, and Lacazette to pass the bloody ball, and Aubameyang to buck your ideas up what were you thinking show some effort you're a total disgrace. It drives me mad when they don't follow my advice, the lazy layabouts, but at least I know I tried. Arsene should take a leaf out of my book, but he's so jaded these days his so-called experience counts for nothing.

My commitment to Arsenal dates back to 1971 when, on minimal evidence, I decided to devote my entire life to the Gunners. Since then my life has been an emotional rollercoaster, intrinsically linked to the fortunes of my favourite club. When they win I punch the sky. When they lose I fall into deep depression. Only when they draw are my emotions kept in check, although I do tut a lot and ruminate endlessly on where it all went wrong.

I could have picked Manchester City instead, in which case I'd be on cloud nine at present. I could have picked Leyton Orient, in which case I'd be resigned to an eternity of low level disappointment. I might even have picked Tottenham, but that would have been awful because Tottenham are scum, we hate Tottenham and we hate Tottenham, and I could never live with that alternative version of myself.

Every morning I wake up, and life is good for a few minutes until I remember Tottenham are higher than Arsenal in the Premiership, and then I slip into a slough of despond. And not just higher, but safely in the European qualifying places, which is totally against the pre-ordained order of things. I see Spurs fans mocking us on social media, and I hear them jeering in my head, and it drives me mad. How dare Tottenham be better than us, because I know for certain they're definitely worse, thanks to a random decision I made when I was six.

It's been a tough season. Confidence in the manager is low. He's had his time, but he's lost the dressing room and we need fresh blood. The players definitely aren't to blame, because I know Wenger must go. Change is always the answer. Change is always an improvement. What a joke we have become.

I can't believe Arsene doesn't realise that he's the problem, because to us long-term supporters it's more than obvious. I know exactly what needs doing, and soon, based on many years of indirect critical observation. This streak of grievously poor form is all your fault Arsene, and I can never forgive you.

Instead Arsenal's poor form is wrecking my life, and if this week's matches don't go our way I fear I may never recover. But one thing's for sure, I would never let my happiness be dictated by an external force over which I have no control, and quite frankly I deserve better.

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan21  Feb21  Mar21  Apr21  May21  Jun21
Jan20  Feb20  Mar20  Apr20  May20  Jun20  Jul20  Aug20  Sep20  Oct20  Nov20  Dec20
Jan19  Feb19  Mar19  Apr19  May19  Jun19  Jul19  Aug19  Sep19  Oct19  Nov19  Dec19
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18  Jul18  Aug18  Sep18  Oct18  Nov18  Dec18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

» my flickr photostream

twenty blogs
ian visits
blue witch
the great wen
edith's streets
spitalfields life
in the aquarium
round the island
wanstead meteo
christopher fowler
ruth's coastal walk
the ladies who bus
round the rails we go
london reconnections
dirty modern scoundrel
from the murky depths
exploring urban wastelands

quick reference features
Things to do in Outer London
Things to do outside London
Inner London toilet map
The DG Tour of Britain

read the archive
Jun21  May21
Apr21  Mar21  Feb21  Jan21
Dec20  Nov20  Oct20  Sep20
Aug20  Jul20  Jun20  May20
Apr20  Mar20  Feb20  Jan20
Dec19  Nov19  Oct19  Sep19
Aug19  Jul19  Jun19  May19
Apr19  Mar19  Feb19  Jan19
Dec18  Nov18  Oct18  Sep18
Aug18  Jul18  Jun18  May18
Apr18  Mar18  Feb18  Jan18
Dec17  Nov17  Oct17  Sep17
Aug17  Jul17  Jun17  May17
Apr17  Mar17  Feb17  Jan17
Dec16  Nov16  Oct16  Sep16
Aug16  Jul16  Jun16  May16
Apr16  Mar16  Feb16  Jan16
Dec15  Nov15  Oct15  Sep15
Aug15  Jul15  Jun15  May15
Apr15  Mar15  Feb15  Jan15
Dec14  Nov14  Oct14  Sep14
Aug14  Jul14  Jun14  May14
Apr14  Mar14  Feb14  Jan14
Dec13  Nov13  Oct13  Sep13
Aug13  Jul13  Jun13  May13
Apr13  Mar13  Feb13  Jan13
Dec12  Nov12  Oct12  Sep12
Aug12  Jul12  Jun12  May12
Apr12  Mar12  Feb12  Jan12
Dec11  Nov11  Oct11  Sep11
Aug11  Jul11  Jun11  May11
Apr11  Mar11  Feb11  Jan11
Dec10  Nov10  Oct10  Sep10
Aug10  Jul10  Jun10  May10
Apr10  Mar10  Feb10  Jan10
Dec09  Nov09  Oct09  Sep09
Aug09  Jul09  Jun09  May09
Apr09  Mar09  Feb09  Jan09
Dec08  Nov08  Oct08  Sep08
Aug08  Jul08  Jun08  May08
Apr08  Mar08  Feb08  Jan08
Dec07  Nov07  Oct07  Sep07
Aug07  Jul07  Jun07  May07
Apr07  Mar07  Feb07  Jan07
Dec06  Nov06  Oct06  Sep06
Aug06  Jul06  Jun06  May06
Apr06  Mar06  Feb06  Jan06
Dec05  Nov05  Oct05  Sep05
Aug05  Jul05  Jun05  May05
Apr05  Mar05  Feb05  Jan05
Dec04  Nov04  Oct04  Sep04
Aug04  Jul04  Jun04  May04
Apr04  Mar04  Feb04  Jan04
Dec03  Nov03  Oct03  Sep03
Aug03  Jul03  Jun03  May03
Apr03  Mar03  Feb03  Jan03
Dec02  Nov02  Oct02  Sep02
back to main page

the diamond geezer index
2020 2019 2018 2017 2016
2015 2014 2013 2012 2011
2010 2009 2008 2007 2006
2005 2004 2003 2002

my special London features
a-z of london museums
E3 - local history month
greenwich meridian (N)
greenwich meridian (S)
the real eastenders
london's lost rivers
olympic park 2007
great british roads
oranges & lemons
random boroughs
bow road station
high street 2012
river westbourne
trafalgar square
capital numbers
east london line
lea valley walk
olympics 2005
regent's canal
square routes
silver jubilee
unlost rivers
cube routes
Herbert Dip
capital ring
river fleet

ten of my favourite posts
the seven ages of blog
my new Z470xi mobile
five equations of blog
the dome of doom
chemical attraction
quality & risk
london 2102
single life
april fool

ten sets of lovely photos
my "most interesting" photos
london 2012 olympic zone
harris and the hebrides
betjeman's metro-land
marking the meridian
tracing the river fleet
london's lost rivers
inside the gherkin
seven sisters

just surfed in?
here's where to find...
diamond geezers
flash mob #1  #2  #3  #4
ben schott's miscellany
london underground
watch with mother
cigarette warnings
digital time delay
wheelie suitcases
war of the worlds
transit of venus
top of the pops
old buckenham
ladybird books
acorn antiques
digital watches
outer hebrides
olympics 2012
school dinners
pet shop boys
west wycombe
bletchley park
george orwell
big breakfast
clapton pond
san francisco
children's tv
east enders
trunk roads
little britain
credit cards
jury service
big brother
jubilee line
number 1s
titan arum
doctor who
blue peter
peter pan
feng shui
leap year
bbc three
vision on
ID cards