diamond geezer

 Saturday, December 01, 2012

How are you spending your last month on Earth?

The world's ending in three weeks, remember. That's according to the Mayan Long Count - the timekeeping system of an ancient central American civilisation - which is scheduled to terminate after a 5125 year cycle when the calendar reaches Doomsday is confirmed as Friday 21 December 2012, with the grand snuffing-out scheduled to coincide with the winter solstice at 11.12am GMT.

On this date the Earth as we know it is to be destroyed by catastrophic earthquakes, or maybe the magnetic poles will reverse, or maybe there'll be a cosmic hyperspatial breakthrough, or maybe the Chosen will ascend to Heaven, or maybe every living thing on Earth will be translated into the 6th dimension, or maybe our planet will be hit by The Third Comet, or maybe the Solar System will enter a top secret photon belt, or perhaps a unexpected supernova will engulf us all in a ball of gravitational fire. Nobody knows precisely how the world will end, but end it must, and we're all doomed.

It therefore comes as some surprise to see the population of the world continuing their lives as normal. Various participatory events are planned for humanity's final evening, and wild overnight parties the day before, but surely that's leaving things too late? With only a limited amount of consciousness remaining, you'd think more people would be taking the opportunity to make their final twenty days as enjoyable as possible.

I'm taking the week before The End Of Everything off work. It seemed wise. I've booked in under cover of "needing time to prepare for Christmas", but that's clearly hogwash because Christmas is cancelled. The last thing I want is to be stuck commuting into the office as the prophecies unravel. I have no plans to be at the photocopier when the first meteors hit, or firing off a final email as London topples into a pit of boiling lava. There are so many more things on my list of "Things To Do Before I Die", none of which are best served by being in an office.

There are chunks of Scotland I haven't seen yet, and I've always fancied Berlin, and New Zealand would be a great place to be when Armageddon hits. That might require me to waste 5% of my remaining time on a long haul plane flight, but at least the ticket would be one-way. Even better it'd be summer when I arrived, rather than having to live out my final days in an Arctic blast. If I don't use my life savings soon they'll all be wasted, so why not squander them now on excess hedonism and luxury travel?

I should probably go out and buy the biggest TV entertainment system I can afford, so long as pre-Christmas delivery is guaranteed. I should fill my trolley at the supermarket with all the most fattening and sugary provisions I can carry, because I'll never get obese and I'll never have to face the dental consequences. And I should tell all the people I secretly fancy what I really think of them, and the people I truly loathe how much I'm looking forward to their demise, with no fear of long term embarrassment. These Last Days can be golden days if I adopt a properly decadent mentality.

I think it would make sense to take the whole of the next fortnight off work as well. I probably don't need to ring in and tell them, because the worst they can do is sack me, and where's the problem with that? Instead I can swan around for three weeks like I'm on extended holiday, doing whatever the hell I like. Maybe I could persuade you to the same, given that you've got nothing to lose. 2013 might be a non-starter, but the remainder of 2012 could be the time of your life.

However, I'd rather you didn't all skive off work immediately, if that's OK. If you deliver goods to my local supermarket I'd prefer it if you completed a few more shifts so that my fridge doesn't run empty. If you work in public transport I'd rather you fulfilled all your remaining duties to enable me to get about. If your job's in public health I need you to carry on tending to the sick otherwise I risk some godawful epidemic taking me out before my allotted time. And if you work for an electricity company I'd be obliged if you stayed at your post until the bitter end, otherwise a lot of what I'm planning to enjoy won't work.

But eventually, obviously, it's all going to get a bit grim. Once everyone finally twigs that there's no point in carrying on a normal life, society will swiftly unravel. The lights will go out, our heating will fail, the internet will cease to function and the police will collapse under the pressure of widespread insurrection. When arson goes unchallenged, when murder has no repercussions, that's when the whole "end of the world" thing becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But that's OK, because all the sensible people will be on a far-flung beach by then, feasting on champagne and chocolates as the comet strikes.

OK, so you might end up looking extremely foolish if this long-standing prophecy turns out to be untrue. But not as wretched as you'll feel if you continue with your mundane lives for the next three weeks and then suddenly the world ends. Your last thoughts will be of all those better things you could have been doing, indeed could be doing right now.

Twenty days and counting. Carpe diem.

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan21  Feb21  Mar21  Apr21  May21  Jun21  Jul21
Jan20  Feb20  Mar20  Apr20  May20  Jun20  Jul20  Aug20  Sep20  Oct20  Nov20  Dec20
Jan19  Feb19  Mar19  Apr19  May19  Jun19  Jul19  Aug19  Sep19  Oct19  Nov19  Dec19
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18  Jul18  Aug18  Sep18  Oct18  Nov18  Dec18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

» my flickr photostream

twenty blogs
ian visits
blue witch
the great wen
edith's streets
spitalfields life
in the aquarium
round the island
wanstead meteo
christopher fowler
ruth's coastal walk
the ladies who bus
round the rails we go
london reconnections
dirty modern scoundrel
from the murky depths
exploring urban wastelands

quick reference features
Things to do in Outer London
Things to do outside London
Inner London toilet map
The DG Tour of Britain

read the archive
Jul21  Jun21  May21
Apr21  Mar21  Feb21  Jan21
Dec20  Nov20  Oct20  Sep20
Aug20  Jul20  Jun20  May20
Apr20  Mar20  Feb20  Jan20
Dec19  Nov19  Oct19  Sep19
Aug19  Jul19  Jun19  May19
Apr19  Mar19  Feb19  Jan19
Dec18  Nov18  Oct18  Sep18
Aug18  Jul18  Jun18  May18
Apr18  Mar18  Feb18  Jan18
Dec17  Nov17  Oct17  Sep17
Aug17  Jul17  Jun17  May17
Apr17  Mar17  Feb17  Jan17
Dec16  Nov16  Oct16  Sep16
Aug16  Jul16  Jun16  May16
Apr16  Mar16  Feb16  Jan16
Dec15  Nov15  Oct15  Sep15
Aug15  Jul15  Jun15  May15
Apr15  Mar15  Feb15  Jan15
Dec14  Nov14  Oct14  Sep14
Aug14  Jul14  Jun14  May14
Apr14  Mar14  Feb14  Jan14
Dec13  Nov13  Oct13  Sep13
Aug13  Jul13  Jun13  May13
Apr13  Mar13  Feb13  Jan13
Dec12  Nov12  Oct12  Sep12
Aug12  Jul12  Jun12  May12
Apr12  Mar12  Feb12  Jan12
Dec11  Nov11  Oct11  Sep11
Aug11  Jul11  Jun11  May11
Apr11  Mar11  Feb11  Jan11
Dec10  Nov10  Oct10  Sep10
Aug10  Jul10  Jun10  May10
Apr10  Mar10  Feb10  Jan10
Dec09  Nov09  Oct09  Sep09
Aug09  Jul09  Jun09  May09
Apr09  Mar09  Feb09  Jan09
Dec08  Nov08  Oct08  Sep08
Aug08  Jul08  Jun08  May08
Apr08  Mar08  Feb08  Jan08
Dec07  Nov07  Oct07  Sep07
Aug07  Jul07  Jun07  May07
Apr07  Mar07  Feb07  Jan07
Dec06  Nov06  Oct06  Sep06
Aug06  Jul06  Jun06  May06
Apr06  Mar06  Feb06  Jan06
Dec05  Nov05  Oct05  Sep05
Aug05  Jul05  Jun05  May05
Apr05  Mar05  Feb05  Jan05
Dec04  Nov04  Oct04  Sep04
Aug04  Jul04  Jun04  May04
Apr04  Mar04  Feb04  Jan04
Dec03  Nov03  Oct03  Sep03
Aug03  Jul03  Jun03  May03
Apr03  Mar03  Feb03  Jan03
Dec02  Nov02  Oct02  Sep02
back to main page

the diamond geezer index
2020 2019 2018 2017 2016
2015 2014 2013 2012 2011
2010 2009 2008 2007 2006
2005 2004 2003 2002

my special London features
a-z of london museums
E3 - local history month
greenwich meridian (N)
greenwich meridian (S)
the real eastenders
london's lost rivers
olympic park 2007
great british roads
oranges & lemons
random boroughs
bow road station
high street 2012
river westbourne
trafalgar square
capital numbers
east london line
lea valley walk
olympics 2005
regent's canal
square routes
silver jubilee
unlost rivers
cube routes
Herbert Dip
capital ring
river fleet

ten of my favourite posts
the seven ages of blog
my new Z470xi mobile
five equations of blog
the dome of doom
chemical attraction
quality & risk
london 2102
single life
april fool

ten sets of lovely photos
my "most interesting" photos
london 2012 olympic zone
harris and the hebrides
betjeman's metro-land
marking the meridian
tracing the river fleet
london's lost rivers
inside the gherkin
seven sisters

just surfed in?
here's where to find...
diamond geezers
flash mob #1  #2  #3  #4
ben schott's miscellany
london underground
watch with mother
cigarette warnings
digital time delay
wheelie suitcases
war of the worlds
transit of venus
top of the pops
old buckenham
ladybird books
acorn antiques
digital watches
outer hebrides
olympics 2012
school dinners
pet shop boys
west wycombe
bletchley park
george orwell
big breakfast
clapton pond
san francisco
children's tv
east enders
trunk roads
little britain
credit cards
jury service
big brother
jubilee line
number 1s
titan arum
doctor who
blue peter
peter pan
feng shui
leap year
bbc three
vision on
ID cards