diamond geezer

 Thursday, November 27, 2014

Citizen, your attention please

Illegal online activity detected

Your internet service provider has confirmed the presence of terrorist keywords in your browsing history, and has brought this potential criminal activity to our attention.

The jihadi phrase you have accessed is: time to kill a service man

This unpatriotic message was discovered: in the previous blogpost

Under emergency long-term legislation, the digital expression of extremist thoughts is now classified as treasonable behaviour.

Your explicit hatred of Britain has been noted, and your arrest by special services personnel is imminent. This is for your own safety, and for the protection of Our Nation going forward.

As you will be aware, greater Government powers are urgently needed to combat a complex and ever-changing threat to national security. This is appropriate and proportionate legislation based on well-established intelligence, and absolutely not a gross overreaction quashing long-established civil liberties.

Our security services face an overwhelming challenge in scanning trillions of terrabytes of digital traffic in the search for extremist traitors. And yet this is crucial work. Imagine the potential horror if radicalised persons were to enter into communication online and plan for death and destruction on an indiscriminate scale.

The Home Office has therefore deployed an army of Citizen Volunteers to scan and scour the internet for incriminating evidence of wrongdoing. Application forms were placed in two national newspapers earlier this week, and passionate volunteers with a considerable amount of spare time recruited. Each was then given access to hundreds of personal datastreams - shared under self-policing privacy controls - and asked to monitor ongoing communications for jihadi keywords and impure thoughts.

Your betrayal was detected by:
Citizen Volunteer: Mr Graham Alan Prentice
Citizen Volunteer ID: Truthcrusader47
Location: Rochester, England
Incident Number*: 28362059
* Please quote this number when security personnel arrive to make your arrest.

In these perilous and dangerous times the protection of our country is of paramount importance. You have not displayed the right-thinking attitude required, and your freedom of expression has been forfeited. We're watching you.

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