diamond geezer

 Thursday, August 23, 2018

A new tube map has been unearthed as a result of a Freedom of Information request.

The 'Pay As You Go Map' shows fare zones, route validators and Out of Station Interchanges. It is very colourful. We thought you might like to see a copy, so here is a link.
Hey Deej,
This is fine as far as it goes, but it's a bit brief. Could you pad it out a bit and provide some additional detail? What our readers want to know is what's in it for them, why should they click through? Come on, Tim Dunning's done all the hard work sourcing the map via FoI, so it's not like our job is difficult. Also, you've illustrated it with a godforsaken section of East London which is not where our target audience lives. Please revise.
bests, Ed
TfL have released a secret tube map as a result of a Freedom of Information request. The PAYG Map, as it's called, shows all the fare zone information tube staff need to keep the network ticking over. It has lots of colour on it.

The map extends beyond the normal fare zones to show additional zones like B for Broxbourne and G for Grays. It shows which lines charge tube fares (green), which lines charge other TfL fares (blue) and which are the more expensive National Rail lines (red). It shows the expensive bit of TfL Rail, and the High Speed line where higher fares apply. It shows the three River zones (West, Central and East) in lurid colours. And it shows the location of all the pink Oyster readers which help orbital travellers pay lower fares.

Also it shows all the official OSIs, or Out of Station Interchanges, which are places where you can leave the network and rejoin it again nearby without having to pay extra. You can see several of these OSIs on the map extract, including Dalston Junction to Dalston Kingsland and Archway to Upper Holloway. Maybe one day one of these special links will save you money.

If you work in a station you get sent a free laminated copy of this map to stick up on the wall. If you work for TfL you can download the map direct from http://luintranet.tfl/static/documents/coo/Oyster_PAYG_Map.pdf. But now the rest of us can download a copy from the What Do They Know website, and enjoy this secret tube map for ourselves.
Hey Deej,
This is better, thanks, but it's a bit dry. We need a lot more oomph to engage the audience, a splash of wow, and a few choice buzz phrases from the approved list. Come on, this is a brand new tube map, and they only come along every other week. Not only do Londoners go wild for them on social media, but they drive our metrics through the roof. I notice that Tim has spotted a mistake on the map. Can we go big on this, please, now he's done all the hard work for us? Also, your snapshot now covers north London, which is definitely an improvement, but I don't think Kentish Town is hitting the spot. Please revise.
bests, Ed
We've seen this new secret tube map, have you?

If there's one thing Londoners love more than a cocktail on a car park roof, it's a brand new tube map. So brace yourselves, folks, because we've unearthed a secret one! Prepare to have all your thrillbuds poked.

This is the Pay As You Go tube map, or PAYG for those of us in the know. As well as all the nine - count them! - fare zones we know and love, there are also special secret zones called B, C, G and W for suburbs we hope you'll never have to visit. We love the rainbow colours everywhere, and especially Zone 8, which is exactly the same shade as our favourite cherry gelato.

Don't worry, the Circle line isn't really green, it's just that all the tube lines are that colour because the fares are the same. The Overground's blue, and real trains are in red or something, but let's not waste time explaining the modus operandi in a patronising manner when there's a secret tube map in town.

It's so secret that normally only TfL staff are allowed to see it, and it had to be tugged screaming from their secretive clutches via one of those sneaky FoI requests. Yay, it's our map now. Basically everything you need to know to work out how much your journey costs is here, except for the actual price.

Ever wanted to know how many stations have those pink readers that save you dosh? Now all your pub arguments are settled because we counted seventeen, so that's how many there are. Just imagine how useful this information could be!

But what we like best are the badly drawn squiggles. These are Out of Station Interchanges, or OSIs for those of us in the know, and they're secret connections which don't cost extra. All the best commuters have known about the shortcut between Paddington and Lancaster Gate for years, but now it's on the secret tube map for everyone to see, and we'll never be able to use it again without imagining a demented deformed snake.

Better still, the OSI between Bayswater and Queensway is brand new since June, and that's the best secret ever. Nobody ever knew how amazingly close these two stations were before, but now you can get out at one and walk 200 metres to the other without paying an additional fare. Mind. Blown.

But TfL has been rocked to its core by the revelation that there is a mistake on the map! This never normally happens, so it's amazing that it has this time. And it's such an obvious mistake too. Swanley in Kent should be in zone 8, like Dartford, but it doesn't appear in any zone at all. Rarely have we been more disappointed in a secret map.

And it gets worse. The key in the corner of the map manages to contain not one, not two, but three additional errors! Someone has written 'Special' as Speacial, the word 'From' has ended up as Form, and most unbelievably the 'O' of OSI has been incorrectly translated as Outer. Also the line between Ealing Broadway and North Acton is the wrong colour - it should be green but it is blue. How shocking that public money has been spent on this secret map and it is wrong.

But don't focus on the mistakes, just weep with joy like you have done every time we've revealed a new tube map so far this year. Remember the futuristic one, and the one with the line depths, and the one with the anagrams of Madonna cover versions, and all the ones those estate agents sent us? This is Thursday's new secret tube map, a brief flurry of collective exhilaration which makes all our lives better, until we forget it ever existed. Don't forget to share this snatch of euphoria with all your social media pals.

And hey, there's also this. A new PAYG map comes out every time a big change happens, so you can bet your bottom dollar there'll be a new one in December when the Queen's purple tunnel finally opens. Do you want to get the FoI request in now, or shall we?

    Hey Deej,
    That's brilliant. We'll run it tomorrow.
    bests, Ed

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