I don't get so many unsolicited marketing approaches these days, but when I do they can be quite persistent. Like Dwight, for example.
Hi there,
I'm sure you get a ton of spammy submissions so I'll get straight to the point.
I'm a mental health counselor turned blogger. I just started my website a while ago and currently trying to get more exposure.
What are your options for advertisements on your site diamondgeezer.blogspot.com? I'm specifically interested in sponsored posts / sponsored links. I think it would be a great fit for both our websites.
Thanks for your time!
Dwight's website reviews marijuana-based products for an American audience. I swiftly deduced we weren't a great fit, indeed anyone who'd actually read my blog ought to have realised this. However, I failed to email back and tell Dwight of my lack of interest, so three days later he wrote again.
Hey there,
I'm sure there have been some busy days, but did you have some time to look at my previous email? (see above).
Would love to hear your thoughts.
I hadn't been too busy to send Dwight a reply, merely too indifferent. I certainly didn't think he merited a response just because he'd asked a question. Perhaps I should have invited him to take a puff and chill. Whatever, four days later he tried again.
Hi there,
Sorry I keep popping into your inbox, but did you have some time to look at my last email (look above).
I’d be really excited to collaborate with you.
If this isn't something you might be interested in, I'd love to bounce a few ideas around with on how we can work together on something mutually beneficial. If not, no problem, I won't bother you again :)
The idea of 'bouncing a few ideas around' did not appeal. Indeed there comes a point when persistence starts to grate - this was less 'popping into' my inbox than polluting it. Thankfully Dwight seemed to have recognised this, because after three missives he never emailed again.
Which was better than Jesse managed.
Hi there,
I noticed that you have a broken link to a website called MBayAq.org. That's the old website name of the Monterey Bay Aquarium, but it doesn't work anymore. The new name is MontereyBayAquarium.org.
May I ask a favor? We just published an article on the 10 must-see public aquariums in the US. It's actually a pretty inspiring list, and the Monterey Bay Aquarium checked in at number two!
Would you consider sharing our article with your readers by linking to it?
I don't generally go back and 'fix' broken website links because life's too short. Also nobody is still reading posts I wrote 16 years ago, so updating incorrect information is unnecessary. Also if I did change an old link it would be to the aquarium's new URL, not to a spurious Top 10 list on a commercial fishkeeping website.
Jesse's email continued.
Please let me know if you have any questions and thank you for your time.
By the way, if you don't like getting emails from me just reply and ask me to stop emailing you, and that will be the last email you get. :)
I should have seen that last line as a hint of what was to come, because four days later Jesse was back on my case.
Hi again,
I wanted to check in and see if you got my note about the broken link on your site?
Thanks!
Ah, the old chestnut "did you get my email?" when what you really meant was "why haven't you replied?" A staple of corporate inboxes the world over. After a three-day gap she took a different tack.
Hey,
After emailing you, I realized this may not be your responsibility and you're focused on other stuff.
Who's the best person on your team to talk to about this?
Thanks in advance!
I do enjoy it when people assume this blog must be authored by more than one person. In this case I doubted Jesse had given the idea much thought, and this was probably her default "third email" template. I should have said that the best person to talk to was nobody, but instead I gave her the cold shoulder again. Four days later the next in the sequence arrived.
I'm sure you're busy, but if you could respond to my email below, I can cross this off my list.
Thanks.
Now that's audacious. Apparently by replying I'd be helping her waste less of her time, whereas in truth she was wasting mine. That may be how the SEO game works at your end, Jesse, but not at mine. So after three more days she tried again.
Hey there,
Maybe you missed my earlier emails? Love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks,
Your previous four emails were hard to miss, Jesse. Also, you would not love to hear my thoughts, because by now they are deep, dark and exasperated.
It is amazing how desperate some websites are to be linked to from other, longer-established websites. When search engine clout is the only way to be noticed, and you don't have any, every muppet you can persuade to embed your link into their website helps. If they'll do it for free, even better. Imagine making your way through a college education and then spending your days prostituting clients into a position of online credibility.
I've not heard from Jesse since Saturday, and hope her blinkered energy is now all spent.
To anyone else considering sending me a string of missives in an attempt to get your product or service into this blog, please stop at one email, and ideally fewer than that.
