Many people adore them, pamper them, exercise them, accompany them, tolerate them, even simply ignore them, but I generally try to keep my distance. I'm told I had an uncomfortable encounter with a dog when I was in a pushchair so my unease may have started right there, but it's continued to bedevil me throughout my life. I like a dog to stay on the ground and ideally stay away from me, but very occasionally they don't and this happens just often enough to keep me on edge.
One consequence of this is that I take a particular interest in canine behaviour. If a dog is padding patiently or focused elsewhere then I'm usually happy to walk on by. If instead it's loose and excitable then I'll approach more carefully, ideally at a distance, or even adjust my plans and walk via an entirely different route.
Here are some of the behaviours I've observed and assimilated, ordered from 'greatest feeling of unease' to 'really not bothered'.
Canine Interaction Indices
1) interest
interested in you
interested in other dogs
interested in its surroundings
not especially interested in anything
too old to do much
Some dogs are pathologically interested in humans and they're the ones I dislike most. Thankfully it's a tiny minority, or at least it is when you're an unwelcoming unfriendly soul like me. A lot of other dogs are really only interested in other dogs - meeting, greeting, sniffing, etc - and that's great because it keeps them away from me. The threat from a lone dog can often be neutralised by the sudden appearance of another dog, and hey presto my presence is completely forgotten.
Other dogs are so focused on exploring their surroundings that they ignore any passing human, which is great because I'm a lot less interesting than a canvas of exciting smells. Then there are the dogs who pad patiently ahead whatever, and the dogs who might once have been excitable but are now too old to do anything, and these are never any trouble at all. It's only dogs in the very first category that bother me, so I spend a lot of time scanning canine behaviour attempting to discount that possibility.
2) motivation
focused solely on you
keen on interaction
maybe a light sniff
cocks an eye
considers you irrelevant
Some dogs are definitely coming over to see you, possibly at speed, unless some external force holds them back. These are the dogs I most fear, unstoppable forces nobody can reason with, and I'll go out of my way to avoid them. Thankfully they're very rare but they still emerge with just enough frequency to remind me they exist, keeping alive the fear that one day one will do me damage. The pitbull I encountered in Buckhurst Hill last month did my long-term subconscious no favours.
Dogs who only want a sniff sometimes make me tense because it takes a finite amount of time to confirm that's all they're after. Thankfully the overwhelming majority of London's dog population are perfectly content to either look at me or ignore me and I'm OK with that - it's only when their behaviour nudges into a higher category that I start to worry. I'm not that bad, I'd never leave the house otherwise.
3) restraint
off leash and out of control
recently let off the leash
off leash
on leash but muzzled
on leash
Even the rowdiest dog is no problem to me when it's on a lead. When I spot a dog in the distance the first thing I try to do is work out if it's on a lead, and if it is I breathe and carry on as normal. The moment of maximum jeopardy is when the owner unclips the collar to give a dog its freedom because I never know if they've released a firework or a sane rational creature with no interest in me whatsoever. If your dog isn't fully under your control, perhaps you shouldn't have released it.
4) size
hefty dog
large dog
medium dog and active
medium dog and calm
small dog
Don't tell me size is not important. My unease is in proportion to the size of the beast, and thereby my chances of fending off an assault should one take place. Giants like mastiffs and German shepherds make me most nervous, just in case, whereas medium-sized dogs only make me uneasy if they demonstrate overexcitedness. As for small dogs they can essentially do what they like because I know they're no threat, indeed one crept up behind me in Victoria Park yesterday and I didn't even blink.
5) ownership
no attempt at control
owner could probably call the dog off
owner is keeping dog occupied
dog has some self-control
dog is perfectly behaved
Fundamentally my beef isn't with the dog, it's with the owner. If you've trained your dog well it's going to be no trouble, because it's only thoughtless and unsuccessful owners who inflict hellhounds upon the world. I generally feel safe if a dog is being kept busy with sticks or balls or if it exhibits all the signs of being well-disciplined. I shudder instead at owners who yell their dog's name repeatedly to no behavioural effect, and I despair at those whose dogs are allowed to do whatever the hell they like... assuming I haven't already fled.
6) conversation
"I see you've met Satan"
"He's only being friendly"
"Sorry, I'll call him off"
"Good morning"
(silence)
I don't normally need to engage in conversation with a dog owner, so if I do something's probably gone wrong. Never assume I'll have the same upbeat opinion of your creature that you do, or that I want to make friends with your dog as much as they want to make friends with me. A bit of empathy goes a long way.
7) proximity
dog in contact
dog close by
dog approaching
dog avoidable
dog sighted in distance
This is obvious but important - distance matters. A dog nearby and heading my way is more of a potential risk than a dog crossing my path further away. Even a frisky dog is easily dealt with if I can stay out of its sphere of interest, which might mean slowing down or taking a subtly different line across the park. Living with canine uncomfortableness means sizing up every dog that comes into sight, identifying any potential belligerence and deviating as necessary.
8) location
indoors
isolated and narrow
lane or footpath
park or open space
built-up area
In all the other lists I've assumed I'm outdoors, but indoors is by far my least favourite place to encounter a dog. Being within the same walls greatly increases the chances it'll want to interact with me, indeed it's almost unavoidable, and I'm never able to settle if there's a sniffy inquisitive dog under the same roof. I well remember that time a friend kindly shut their Alsatian in the kitchen for me but then their husband came home and opened the kitchen door and within five seconds that dog was on my lap, and it still makes me shudder.
When outdoors the safest place to encounter dogs is on the street because they're invariably under better control, whereas in a park or open space they have more freedom to roam and play. The most unnerving place to meet them is in more remote locations, because this is precisely where owners take excitable dogs because they assume they won't encounter anyone. Bumping into Mr Frisky while alone on a narrow path with zero escape routes is about as bad as it gets for me. I don't let these fears prevent me from walking in deep countryside, not all the time, but I am always on heightened alert just in case.
Despite these eight indices I've managed to compile, rest assured I do know hardly any dogs are any trouble whatsoever. But if there's any suggestion one might be up the red end rather than down the pink end, I do my best to keep well away.
