I'm on a roll writing about transport so hey, let's do it again. It's easy and it's engaging, plus it's precisely the sort of content my most vocal readers want to read. This is what I do now, I regurgitate transport news, and I need never write a descriptive piece about a cul-de-sac in Mitcham again.
Rail News
Everyone loves a parliamentary train... a service rail companies run as infrequently as possible to keep a stretch of track officially open. And loads of people turned up yesterday to love the West Ealing parliamentary train when it ran for the very last time. For the last few years it's run once a week non-stop to West Ruislip, but when the timetable changes next week it's being switched for a bus.
The Chiltern parliamentary service operates to keep drivers familiar with an alternative route into London which gets used occasionally during engineering works. It used to run from Paddington before HS2 swallowed up the New North Main Line at Old Oak Common. It used to run in both directions before Chiltern realised they could get away with just one. And it used to run almost empty, at least until its imminent death was announced. Yesterday, inevitably, an entire trainful of passengers turned up to see it off. Hello to all the usualsuspects.
The 11:17 to Oblivion set off on time from the stubby remains of West Ealing's platform 5 and set off up the sunny Greenford branch. You can ride this line at any time but hardly anybody does - the stations between here and Greenford are three of the five least used stations in London. This runty branch line has therefore been selected by the DfT to run trials for battery-operated electric trains, and it's for this reason that Chiltern's diesels will no long be able to operate along it.
The enthusiasts on board geeked out on passing London's last set of lower quadrant semaphoresignals at Greenford Junction. Passengers were less thrilled when the train was brought to a halt due to trespassers on the line at Denham, but on the plus side this permitted everyone an extra 30 minutes on a section of railway the public may never get to ride again. Some were even planning to file a delay repay claim when the last parliamentary train reached West Ruislip 36 minutes late. And no I didn't go, I've ridden it before, but I am tempted by the replacement parliamentary bus that starts next Wednesday. Once the initial fuss dies down, that is.
Overground News
Having mentioned earlier in the week that timetable leaflets are a nigh-extinct breed, it's interesting that London Overground still has the cash to produce bespoke full colour leaflets. They published a nice one last month celebrating 15 years of the Overground, which is still available in some station racks. The latest leaflet is less retrospective and more of a fingerwagger. The headline on the cover is Have you caught the train? Or has the train caught you? above a photo of a hand with four fingers inserted between two closed orange doors. And if you open it up it says this. Please take a few moments for some self care.
This a leaflet designed to stop people placing objects between the train doors to prevent them from closing fully, particularly your hand when the train's about to leave. It doesn't dig into the consequences of what might happen if you do, other than saying objects might become "trapped and locked". Instead it spends five paragraphs explaining why your trapped object may not be detected and why the driver probably won't see you. Most of the text is about what the driver sees, which might seem a peculiar focus but trapping and dragging did actually happen three times in one week back in June so it's clearly a pertinent problem.
The reading age of the text is higher than would normally be expected in a safety leaflet, and the word Driver is capitalised throughout (the Driver this, the Driver that) which I've never seen in print before. I'm not complaining, it's nice to be treated to a comprehensive explanation for once, and a clear simple list of safety tips is provided over the fold. But I do wonder how few of the target audience will ever pick this leaflet up, let alone read the text inside, let alone act on its advice. It's quite possible more people will read it on the blog today than read it in the flesh (in which case it has indeed achieved its aim). Mind your fingers.
Cartographic News
Sometimes an FoI is brief, to the point and extracts some fascinating data. Take this classic of the genre published last week:
How much money yearly in GBP does TFL pay Google Inc for using the Google Maps?
And the answer is, quite a lot.
2020
£191,901
2021
£233,562
2022 (to date)
£396,590
I'm trying to work out how it can be that much!? (Millions of people using Journey Planner? Repeated wayfinding on the TfL Go app? A lot of usage in the TfL offices?)
I'm also trying to work out why the cost has almost doubled in 2022. (A lot more people travelling post-pandemic? Unfavourable exchange rates between the pound and the dollar? Some new technological solution that's really data hungry?)
And I also wanted to say "If they can spend £400,000 a year on Google Maps why the hell can't they produce an up-to-date bus map?" before one of you chips in and asks that in the comments.
Tube News
Yesterday while I was standing in the lift at Holloway Road station a disembodied voice piped up to say "Press button to operate lift". We looked around - me and the delivery driver who'd just pushed through the ticket gates - but we couldn't see a button for us to press. We did find an alarm button under a plastic shield beside a notice saying "ffs don't press this one by mistake", or words to that effect, but there was nothing else to press. Thankfully the lift doors then shuddered into action anyway and down we went.
One stop down the line at Caledonian Road I spotted a very obvious button outside the lift begging me to press it, and another inside the lift ditto, but in fact I didn't need to press either of them. And I realised I'm very confused by the lift buttons at deep level stations and whether they're crucial or not. I know there's at least one station where you need to press the button or nothing happens where I've looked a complete numpty more than once, I just can't remember where it is. And in the absence of TfL rationalising lift button signage in the near future I thought one of you lot would know.
Deep-level stations with exit by lift or stairs only
• Hampstead, Belsize Park, Chalk Farm, Tufnell Park, Mornington Crescent, Goodge Street, Borough, Kennington
• Holloway Road, Caledonian Road, Russell Square, Covent Garden, Gloucester Road
• Edgware Road, Regent's Park, Lambeth North, Elephant & Castle
• Holland Park, Queensway, Lancaster Gate
Also I noticed that at Holloway Road the announcement is "Lift Number Two Shall Be The Next Lift" and at Caledonian Road it's "Lift Number Two Will Be The Next Lift", and what on earth is the grammatical peculiarity going on there?
