I don't know if you ever read the diamond geezer blog, but on Saturday he posted a September Events Diary of free London happenings. To be honest it had the look of filler, indeed I think he posts it every year and just tweaks the entries a bit, usually with mistakes. But I had a Sunday free and I thought some of the events on the list might be interesting so I took myself off and visited some.
» Bartholomew Fair (31 Aug - 16 Sep): The City of London has resurrected a longstanding Smithfield tradition (though not in the right location, much longer than previously and not overlapping with the correct day). Expect roaming street performers aplenty. This weekend's market is at Paternoster Square.
You can't go wrong with a City of London event because they have pots of money, entirely unlike your average council. Plus it seems this is a major event spread over three weekends so I arrived in Paternoster Square with high hopes. But when I arrived there were no acrobats, no roving performers and no street food, just a dozen empty gazebos arranged around the foot of the flaming column.
I wondered if I was too early, but given nobody was even firing up a grill or unpacking the facepaints I feared the worst. So I checked the website and alas the first weekend of the fair was 31 August to 2 September, i.e. Thursday to Saturday, so everything had already happened and been packed away. I should have realised because the City of London doesn't tend to roll out of bed on Sundays, and what with the contraction of the working week even Fridays are weekendier now. I'd learned a salutory lesson - always check the website carefully before you turn up for an event, never assume.
» Angel Canal Festival (Sun, 11-4): Waterside gaiety beside City Road Lock, now in its fourth decade. Expect the Mayor of Islington to arrive by narrowboat.
This looked like safer ground because a date and time were specified, but also dodgier because the only link was to a generic listing with a completely different start and finish time. What sort of festival doesn't have its own website? But I knew it'd all be fine as soon as I spotted a special map at the top of the steps and early fetegoers milling down on the towpath. What was missing was narrowboats because a 24 hour Mooring Restriction was in operation, but that's the Canal & River Trust for you. They had two stalls, ostensibly to share information about our waterways but also with an underlying intention to extract money or time from willing passers-by, because that's what happens when the government starts salami-slicing your grant down to nothing.
Other stalls were homelier, perhaps selling crafted goods or ribboned produce, even a mighty trestle table laid out with potted herbs. A volunteer at the foot of the ramp attempted to inform joggers and random passers-by that a festival was going on because they might not realise otherwise, plus it was important to remind those who'd turned up deliberately that the planned entertainment continued up and over the bridge in Graham Street Park because missing that would have been a serious omission. Here the Islington Boat Club were offering kids taster sessions on the basin, a floating camera obscura had moored up and The Widgeon theatre-boat had a programme of staged music and comedy.
This is Able Mable, a feathered showgirl fresh back from the Fringe. I joined the growing crowd by the waterside stage and sensibly held back when she picked her first volunteer, because he ended up on stage throughout the performance increasingly restricted by sticky tape. It was hard to tell how many of the mishaps were purely for comic effect, but I suspect the moment the whipped balloon came loose and floated over the rail into the basin wasn't planned. Across the park the Punch & Judy man stared at an empty lawn waiting patiently for the enthralled crowd to disperse. Huge thanks to the volunteers who made sure the festival went ahead this year after the sad loss of its long-term organiser, and I'm very glad I went.
» Brentford Festival (Sun, 12-6): Live tunes, stalls, vintage vehicles and the obligatory dog show in Blondin Park W5.
This festival is always in the annual listings but who'd trek out to Brentford to visit it, specifically to a park between Boston Manor and Northfields stations? Thankfully it's much more of a local magnet, drawing hordes of families and pensioners out of the neighbouring streets, even ferrying folk from further afield aboard a free Routemaster bus on a one-way circuit. These were some of the 'vintage vehicles' promised at the festival and the London Transport Museum Friends had brought another, their Guy Special single deck motorbus which curious children boarded with mystified glee.
As for the 'live music', this erupted from a stage in the main field where an anonymous band were covering Mr Brightside and other mid-noughties standards. The pavilion doubled up as the beer tent, and I'm sure the audience appreciated that the price of a pint had been held down to a fiver. Amongst the food stalls around the field's edge the longest queue by far was for Auntie Bonnie's Jerk Pit, purveyors of spicy Caribbean chicken, closely followed by fruity slush because my word weren't the organisers lucky with the weather this year? The Foot Long Sausage tent could not compete.
A lot of 'stalls' were present and a much better selection than at Angel, drawing from all aspects of the community. Local honey, local eco-friendly cosmetics and local personalised pillows were on sale. The Ealing Cycling Campaign might have offered you a frisbee, the Metropolitan Police might have allowed your children to play with handcuffs and helmets, and the West London Ramblers did indeed invite me to join them for a walk. On the political front only the Greens and Labour had turned up to face the populace, the latter offering the chance to 'meet your councillors'. And how delightful to see the hobbyhorse from Northfields Morris mingling with the crowds while his colleagues danced, confirming that rural traditions are alive and well in deepest suburbia.
I confess I'd been expecting 'the obligatory dog show' to be more significant, especially given diamond geezer mentions it relentlessly year after year. Only half a dozen prize hounds were being judged in the makeshift ring, which at least meant a higher chance of a rosette, although this may have been because they were still working through the pedigree classes before the all-comers started at 2. Much more popular was the tiny petting zoo where all it took to enthral a toddler was a donkey, a pig, a goat and two sheep, and not necessarily simultaneously.
What I loved about the Brentford Festival was how rooted it was, still tipped towards the traditional but with a nod to the diverse, and how it genuinely still is the highlight of the local calendar when it comes to bringing people together. I used to live in a village that peaked socially in a similar way, but I now live in a neighbourhood which only offers big flashy events in a fenced-off park so never manages social cohesion at the same level. Also I hope diamond geezer mentions the vintage buses and the morris dancers in his description next year because that might encourage more people to go.
Sometimes it pays to embrace a recommendation, get out there and enjoy. Thanks diamond geezer! Anyone else take his advice this weekend?
