In this new series I'll be visiting all the countries in the world but without leaving London. Their people, their geography, their history, their culture, their cuisine, that kind of thing. I'm kicking off with Afghanistan because it's the first country in alphabetical order, and by country I mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right. Starting at the embassy...
The Embassy of the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan in London(31 Princes Gate, SW7)
You'll find the Afghan embassy in Princes Gate on the south side of Hyde Park, a diplomatic cluster that's widely known because the Iranian embassy interrupted the snooker finals in 1980. These very splendid five-storey houses were built in 1847 by C.J. Freake, an adherent of Italianate 'stucco classic' style, and you may know more than usual about their interiors thanks to any SAS documentaries you've consumed. These days the terrace is set back from Kensington Road behind a smart line of shrubbery and armed police patrol the limo-parking area out front, just in case. The other two embassies here belong to Thailand and Ethiopia, their flags draped prominently out front, but you won't see Afghanistan's flappy dangler unless you walk around the corner into Exhibition Road because they're based in the building on the end.
The great and good, like His Excellency Dr Zalmai Rassoul (Ambassador Extraordinary & Plenipotentiary), enter through the posh doors with the twiddly ironwork. Lesser souls, like those in search of Passport, Visa, Tazkera, Power of Attorney & Other Consular Services are directed towards a minor staircase leading down into the basement which I guess was once the servants' entrance. There would have been servants once, back when this was a private house before it was purchased by the Royal State of Afghanistan in 1925. They then added a stucco annexe on the side in 1955, which currently houses their consulate section and also includes a secure garage for the parking of diplomatic cars. As the first country in alphabetical order Afghanistan has the honour of the premier 101 diplomatic registration, so for example the tinted vehicles I saw outside were [101 D 216] for the Range Rover and [101 D 217] for the Merc.
Geography & History
The word Afghan was first recorded in the 3rd century and might mean horsebreeders, whereas the name Afghanistan is a 19th century colonial designation. London has just one street named after the country which is Afghan Road SW11. It's located in a corner of Battersea just to the north of Clapham Junction, an enclave of smart 2-bed terraces built in the early 1880s by property developer Alfred Heaver. If you don't want much of a garden and have three quarters of a million to spare, they make ideal boltholes for a minimal commute. The estate was originally called Falcon Park and, as was the Victorian way, all its streets were named after key locations in recent overseas victories, in this case the Anglo-Zulu War and the Second Anglo-Afghan War. The latter was Britain's attempt to create a buffer zone between Russian territory and the Indian empire, and inevitably ended badly for those with the misfortune to live inbetween.
As well as Afghan Road, adjacent streets include... Cabul Road: Better known these days as Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan is named after a river which flows down from the Hindu Kush. Retaken by the Taliban in August 2021 in a disastrously poor example of Western withdrawal, its female residents now live under a stiflingly strict religious regime. By contrast residents of Cabul Road can go for a walk in Christchurch Gardens whenever they like wearing whatever they choose. Candahar Road: Better known these days as Kandahar, this southern city is one of the oldest known human settlements but has been subject to repeated international military interference over the centuries. Recent attempts at peacekeeping didn't ultimately make things better. By contrast the Lutfwaffe appear to have missed Candahar Road so property values remain high. Khyber Road: The Khyber Pass is an exceptionally strategic trade route through the White Mountains on the border with what's now Pakistan and was once part of the Silk Road. By contrast Khyber Road is level throughout, kicks off with a Tesco Express and offers both mobile-based and machine-based payment options for on-street parking.
Estate agents know this area as 'Little India', which just goes to show how little geography and history estate agents understand.
Culture and cuisine
The Afghan diaspora in London includes many thousands who came by choice and many thousands more who fled war, poverty and religious persecution. There'd be many more if Boris Johnson had prioritised an effective airlift over saving a few cats and dogs but that's by the by. According to pre-Taliban data in 2021 the boroughs with the most Afghan-born residents are Ealing (7000), Hounslow (6400), Hillingdon (6300), and Harrow (4800). I alas aimed for none of these, having Googled for a convenient location with both an Afghan cultural centre and an Afghan bakery on opposite sides of the same street so went to Brent.
Church Road in Willesden is a busy residential street which suddenly goes all downbeat and off-piste at its northern end. Here we find net-curtained cafeterias, grill-based takeaways, Hajj-friendly travel agents, boarded-up internet cafes and absolutely no well-known chains whatsoever. The large building site on one side really isn't helping either. In 1988 three former retail units were taken over by the Afghan Islamic Cultural Centre and fronted with austere green shutters, the keyword being practical rather than attractive, and concealed behind these is a very large room which serves as a mosque for up to 1000 locals. As for the Dunya AFG Bakery across the road this better resembled a tiny workplace kitchen rather than a commercial carb dispensary. All I spied were a handful of loaves on a scant number of racks, a sign in English promoting mass catering services and another warning Beware Of Slippery Floor. I got no taste of Afghanistan from my trip to Willesden.
I tried again up the road in Neasden where Google promised me the Madina Food Centre on Neasden Lane had a fresh Afghan bakery. But it was more of an ethnic supermarket with narrow aisles crowded with provisions, perhaps with an oven at the back, and even though I walked in as far as the halal counter I spotted nothing. I realise now that I should probably have gone to Harrow instead, where the Afghan Association of London has had a base since 1995 and where the Harrow Afghan Bakery on Station Road sells what look like the sweetest flakiest powdery creme rolls, and I apologise for not doing betterresearch before I left home.
Museum artefacts
If you're hunting for cultural items from a foreign country the V&A often comes up trumps. I headed to the South Asian wing and the Jameel Gallery, the big room with the huge Islamic carpet they illuminate twice an hour. But the drapes, sculptures and ceramics here were almost all from Turkey, Iraq and Iran, and the sole nod to Afghanistan seemed to be a temporary case showcasing modern but still traditional costumes. A bridal veil in celebratory purple, a velvet dress with metal threads, an embroidered panel in satin, a lavish prayer pouch and a hat... all representative of the stitching skills of the Hazara minority. If nothing else they were enjoying far greater scrutiny by visitors than the other artefacts designed for the wealthy, perhaps because (as it turned out) I'd fortuitously turned up on the display's first day.
I was then going to head to the National Army Museum because I remembered they had a display about the war in Afghanistan, or at least they used to, but that was when the rain started and suddenly I went off the idea. Or was that the Imperial War Museum...? Whatever, that was also too long a walk from a tube station so I went home instead. I did at least get to see an embassy, some roads and a gorgeous hat so my Afghani quest wasn't a complete letdown, but hopefully I'll do better with Albania.
One country down, 192 to go. If I keep this up every Wednesday then I should finally reach Zimbabwe in January 2028.
