diamond geezer

 Friday, September 13, 2002

TotP 2000: The number 2000 has recently been associated with many crass and embarrassing projects that promised much and delivered little - the Millennium Dome, the Millennium Bridge and the Y2K bug spring to mind, amongst others. Now we can add the 2000th edition of Top of the Pops to that list.

• Whose idea was it to invite Status Quo to open the show? Are they not dead yet? Was the producer maybe trying to get everyone to turn off?
• Who invited Darius to appear on film to congratulate everyone, given that he'd not even appeared on the show before number 1995?
• Does the the lead singer of N-Trance really think she can sing? I've rarely heard a more convincing argument for the reintroduction of miming.
• Who paired Tom Jones up with Wyclef? Even Robbie Williams and Geri Halliwell make a more convincing couple.
• Was that Legs and Co dancing in luminous orange diving suits, or has Michael Barrymore slipped something in my tea?
• If the White Stripes are described as 'cutting edge', does that explain why I considered the use of razor blades halfway through their 'song'?
• Who is that appalling new female presenter? She makes even Peter Powell's presentational skills look impressive.
• Why did the edited highlights of the last 2000 shows concentrate far too much on the last four years and not enough on the thirty before that?
• Is everyone editing their songs down to two minutes in length in case the modern teenage audience gets bored and swaps channels?
• Which 80s classic will Atomic Kitten massacre next? Maybe a Blondie fan will massacre Atomic Kitten first.
• And will anybody remember even one of these groups when the 3000th TotP comes round in 2022?

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