diamond geezer

 Wednesday, November 20, 2002

Mobile health clinic

Mobile phones have replaced cigarettes as the must-have status symbol for teenagers. Just like cigarettes, mobile phones slip into your pocket, look good held near the mouth, make you look older than you really are, use up most of your pocket money, and will probably end up killing you except that nobody will admit this for the next 30 years.

I think it's time for health warnings to be placed on all mobile phones - how about the following?

Warning: Your ringtone is nowhere near as amusing as you think it is.
Warning: It would be much cheaper to use that BT phone you’re sitting next to.
Warning: Your boss now thinks that you're fully contactable 24 hours a day.
Warning: Yes, we know you're on a train, thankyou, we can all hear you.
Warning: txt messages r puttn govt LiterRC targets unda 4midable thret :)
Warning: Don't step off the pavement in front of a bus while out txt-ing, it'll hurt.
Warning: Is your partner using his/her mobile in order to be unfaithful to you?
Warning: Your left hand is for the gear lever, your right hand is for the steering wheel.
Warning: Don't forget to turn off all sound before going to your mate’s dad’s funeral.
Warning: How will you notice if this phone is slowly destroying your brain?

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