diamond geezer

 Sunday, November 03, 2002

Single life

If it's three minutes past midday on November 3rd, then I've been single for exactly three years.

A recent survey found that 66% of UK adults are currently in a stable relationship, leaving the remaining one third of us currently unattached. Some might say that we single people are missing out, and maybe we are, but I'm convinced there are lots of positive points to being single:

Single: You get the whole duvet to yourself.
Coupled: You don't need a hot water bottle.

Single: There's half as much ironing to do.
Coupled: There's somebody else to do the ironing for you.

Single: You can watch whatever TV channel you like, without arguments.
Coupled: There's someone to talk to about the TV programme you're watching.

Single: You can get home from work at whatever time you like.
Coupled: There might just be a meal waiting for you when you get home.

Single: You get to eat the whole ready meal for two yourself.
Coupled: It takes just as long to cook for two as it does for one.

Single: There are no important birthdays or anniversaries to accidentally forget.
Coupled: Somebody actually remembers your birthday.

Single: You have can still have a riotous social life in your 30s.
Coupled: You can still have a riotous social life in your 60s.

Single: You don't keep catching every sniffle, cold and flu bug off your partner.
Coupled: When you suffer a major cardiac arrest, somebody notices and dials 999.

Single: You have no friends to go out with because they've all partnered off and are staying in.
Coupled: You don't have to go out with those annoying friends you had while you were single.

Single: Nobody sees what you look like first thing in the morning.
Coupled: Somebody loves you despite what they see first thing in the morning.

Single: You can lie in bed in the morning for as long as you like.
Coupled: There's a good reason for lying in bed in the morning ;o)

Single: You never catch your partner shagging in a Cotswolds hotel with another bloke.
Not that I'm in any way bitter, you understand...


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