Girls Allowed: So, the Christmasnumber one goes to five tone-deaf non-entities, plucked from obscurity by cynical ITV executives to front a manufactured band with no talent. The girls have a singing ability so poor that they should never risk performing live, so it's a relief that they've all been been replaced by session musicians on the record. OK, I'll admit that the girls' song itself isn't that bad, plagiarising as it does various pop masterpieces, and some have even managed to come up with a list of 100 reasons why we should all have rushed out and bought the Sound of the Underground. However, Girls Aloud definitely follow in the Christmas footsteps of such renowned acts as Bob the Builder, Mr Blobby, Little Jimmy Osmond and Renee and Renato, it not being unusual for the festive chart-topper to be sung by a bunch of talentless no-hopers. Alas, the TV show Popstars - the Rivals is to blame for the entire Christmas Top three, including the tedious One True Voice and the execrable Cheeky Girls. I guess it's too much to hope for better in 2003. PopOriginals, anyone?