Wednesday, December 18, 2002
What class are you this Christmas?
Where do you buy most of your Christmas presents?
(a) At Harrods, on account.
(b) At John Lewis, by Barclaycard.
(c) At Spar, when the shopkeeper's not looking.
How have you decorated your house?
(a) Great-grandfather planted fifty fir trees round the estate 100 years ago.
(b) A tasteful holly wreath on the door and lots of candles in the window.
(c) Flashing reindeer, a luminous Santa and 150 coloured lights on the roof.
How many people are you spending Christmas Day with?
(a) 17 - although we may give the butler the afternoon off.
(b) Just the 2 of us - we've paid extra to keep the kids on at boarding school this year.
(c) 17 - that's 7 children, 3 ex-wives, 5 grannies and 2 social workers.
What are you planning to cook for Christmas lunch?
(a) Whatever we go out and shoot in the morning.
(b) Everything that Delia tells us to.
(c) Pizza and chips.
What will you be watching on Christmas Day?
(a) The waves lapping against the beach in the Algarve.
(b) Just the Queen's Speech, then we'll turn the television off and play charades instead.
(c) Only Fools And Horses, plus whatever's on ITV for the rest of the evening.
Check your answers
Mostly (a)s - upper class
Mostly (b)s - middle class
Mostly (c)s - dead common
...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan14 Feb14 Mar14 Apr14
Jan13 Feb13 Mar13 Apr13 May13 Jun13 Jul13 Aug13 Sep13 Oct13 Nov13 Dec13
Jan12 Feb12 Mar12 Apr12 May12 Jun12 Jul12 Aug12 Sep12 Oct12 Nov12 Dec12
Jan11 Feb11 Mar11 Apr11 May11 Jun11 Jul11 Aug11 Sep11 Oct11 Nov11 Dec11
Jan10 Feb10 Mar10 Apr10 May10 Jun10 Jul10 Aug10 Sep10 Oct10 Nov10 Dec10
Jan09 Feb09 Mar09 Apr09 May09 Jun09 Jul09 Aug09 Sep09 Oct09 Nov09 Dec09
Jan08 Feb08 Mar08 Apr08 May08 Jun08 Jul08 Aug08 Sep08 Oct08 Nov08 Dec08
Jan07 Feb07 Mar07 Apr07 May07 Jun07 Jul07 Aug07 Sep07 Oct07 Nov07 Dec07
Jan06 Feb06 Mar06 Apr06 May06 Jun06 Jul06 Aug06 Sep06 Oct06 Nov06 Dec06
Jan05 Feb05 Mar05 Apr05 May05 Jun05 Jul05 Aug05 Sep05 Oct05 Nov05 Dec05
Jan04 Feb04 Mar04 Apr04 May04 Jun04 Jul04 Aug04 Sep04 Oct04 Nov04 Dec04
Jan03 Feb03 Mar03 Apr03 May03 Jun03 Jul03 Aug03 Sep03 Oct03 Nov03 Dec03
Jan02 Feb02 Mar02 Apr02 May02 Jun02 Jul02 Aug02 Sep02 Oct02 Nov02 Dec02