TV programme of the month: A series about football with no football in it? Footballers' Wives is quite the worst idea anyone's ever had for a TV drama, and therefore it works brilliantly. Clothes horses and amoral fashion victims more like. Poor old Kyle and Chardonnay have had nothing much to do this series, except provide a stream of public service information about hermaphrodite babies. Jason and Tanya, however, have been having a whale of a time with tacky plots and ludicrous dialogue. Neanderthal man meets Harvey Nicks woman, and then gets pushed off the top of a tall building. I for one will be back next year to find out whodunnit, and how many extreme tabloid-type stories they can pack into the next series.
Football result of the month: Arsenal 5, Manchester City 1. It's a good score, 5-1. That's the same score we beat Farnborough by last month, and I seem to remember David Beckham thrashing some Germans by the same margin exactly 18 months ago.
Film of the month: I couldn't decide between Ghost Ship and Final Destination 2. Ghost Ship was by far the classier of the films, if you can call a 1950s Italian ocean liner inhabited by murderous spirits classy. The method of onboard death in the opening scene of Ghost Ship wouldn't have been out of place in Final Destination 2, where it seems the more unlikely the means of despatch the better. I left the cinema after FD2 with my eyes peeled for freak accidents... maybe that lampost could be hit by lightning and fall onto a passing motorbike causing a lorry laden with oranges to swerve and overturn, scattering its cargo across the road so... or perhaps I was just having a premonition of the plot of FD3.
Album of the month: Unrest by Erlend Øye. I don't usually risk buying an album when I've not heard even one track off it beforehand, but this risk turned out really well. Erlend's probably best known for doing Royksopp vocals, but this is more melodic than Melody AM, poppier and rather excellent. Two standout tracks - the charmingly quirky Prego Amore and the opener Ghost Trains.
Single of the month: Move Your Feet by Junior Senior. As reviewed by legendary chart supremo James Masterson... "Junior Senior are two blokes from Denmark and as the name suggests are from two different generations. Their music however is nothing short of spectacular, this single being a case in point, a hugely infections blend of funk, disco and soul that almost literally commands you to get up and dance."
Satellite image of the month: Ever wondered what London looks like from space? The international space station flew over earlier in the month and took this rather fantastic snap of the South East at night. It turns out that London looks like a huge glowing amoeba with tentacles. If you look at the image carefully you can see the cell nucleus that is central London, a surprisingly large ribosome at Hyde Park, plus the vacuole called Essex. And much respect to Steve who's taken the NASA photo and done something really Flash with it. Awesome.