There's £100 to spend on something electrical or gadgety for my birthday present... but on what?
A little background reading for those of you who have still to make up your mind.
Here's what the nominees said about each of the five possible presents. Myself, I'll try to be more objective.
(a) Clear Door Cooler drD said... "Ok has to be the Clear Door Cooler - £99.99 - MP6320 from Innovations. Space for plenty of beer bottles, under a ton + it's new on 3rd March. You can use it in the office too for warming pies...and you get to spend a penny." I said... "Very thoughtful, not least because after drinking the contents of that cooler I'd need to be able to spend a penny. There's a bottle of champagne in my fridge that's been there for 18 months without being opened - that should be nicely chilled by now."
(b) Mathmos Flip and Faze Tumbler lights drD said... "On the basis that less is more I recommend a Mathmos tumbler or two. Just the thing to channel your Chi around that heavy electrical lfestyle." I say... "I do actually have one of the Mathmos bubble lights, except it only does blue and it doesn't change colour. I also own a lava lamp, or at least a vial of orange goo left behind by my landlord who has an unnervingly 70s view of home design. Just don't even try to imagine the hideousness of my/his orange sofa."
(c) Philips Provapor Steam Iron Blue Witch said... " To cut down your ironing time: Argos 410/8070 Philips GC6022 Provapor steam generator, £99.99 (P 32)" I say... "I get to iron five shirts a week, which takes me away from my keyboard for at least twenty minutes. Sadly my keyboard is too small and lumpy to use as an ironing board, but a steam iron would no doubt melt the keys even faster."
(d) Logitech Cordless Desktop Optical keyboard and mouse Blue Witch said... "To improve your internet experience and enable you to write DG from your armchair: Argos 676/1721 Logitech cordless desktop optical keyboard and mouse, £99.95 (P 841). NB You can get a very similar Logitech set from Viking for £49.99 + VAT currently." I say... "With this gadget I could sit and type from the discomfort of my orange sofa, or maybe even double-click at the ironing board. Hmmm, I wonder how easy it is to read the text on a computer screen from two metres away. Don't be surprised if you log in one day and find diamond geezer published in font size 48."
(e) Voice Commander remote control paulg said... "A voice activated remote control £79 off iwantoneofthose.com ... perfect for couch potatoes who cant move from their sofa except for stretching for the Pringles, billy-no-mates who have no one to talk to but their domestic appliances, and tech heads who can never have too many batteries :o)" I say... "It appears I could be spending a lot of my post-birthday life on that sofa. I wonder if the Voice Controller can be programmed not just to change TV channels but also to feed me Pringles? Might be my only comfort assuming I've frightened away all the friends who've caught me talking to my CD player."
A reminder that you can cast your vote by visiting this special online survey site (select survey number 4137, that's 4137), or by posting a comment in the comments box below, or by email, any time beween now and next Tuesday. Further details below.
Of course, only I could launch the final phase of this project into a dead-comments-link environment, so I'm very sorry if you're burning to say something at the moment. Either cross your legs and hold it in, or go and vote on the survey site instead.