The Sun Hot topic: Child molesters - burn them now, ask questions later.
War in Iraq: A good thing. God bless our lads in the battle against Saddam.
Tony Blair: We don't like him... unless he's supporting war in Iraq.
The Mirror Hot topic: Equality, social justice, and tumbling readership figures.
War in Iraq: No war. War is stupid. War - uh-huh - what is it good for?
Tony Blair: We like him... unless he's supporting war in Iraq.
The Daily Mail Hot topic: Asylum seekers - they're all criminals and they bring your property prices down.
War in Iraq: Will probably mean even more immigrants asylum seekers entering the UK.
Tony Blair: He's the evil man who wants to house all those asylum seekers in your street.
The Guardian Hot topic: Real Ale shortage likely at Stop the War demo.
War in Iraq: See you in Hyde Park next Saturday?
Tony Blair: Actually, that Charles Kennedy might be a lot safer.
The Financial Times Hot topic: Aren't your shares doing badly at the moment?
War in Iraq: And they're going to carry on plummeting.
Tony Blair: No comment.
The Daily Telegraph Hot topic: Poor old Pinky Smithers died last week, here's his obituary.
War in Iraq: We remember the Korean war, you know. Got a medal for it too.
Tony Blair: With our failing eyesight, he looks a lot like Margaret Thatcher.
The Daily Star Hot topic: Breasts.
War in Iraq: More bare-breasted babes posing in army camos.
Tony Blair: Has no breasts, therefore we're not interested.