diamond geezer

 Saturday, March 01, 2003

vun.... two.... three....The Count

So, I spent the whole of February counting certain things that happened to me and reporting back here on how the count was going. It unnerved a few people in the office who couldn't quite work out why I either knew or cared that I was drinking my eighth cup of tea of the day. It unnerved my Mum, who's finally been able to keep tabs on how often I've been going out and what I've been (hic) up to. And it unnerved me, because I had hoped some of those counts would have been higher, and that some wouldn't have been as high as they turned out. Anyway, you'll be thrilled to know that the final results are now in. One month, twenty-eight days, four weeks, ten counts and three thousand tally marks.

Count 1 (Blog visitors): More than two thousand people have logged in to diamond geezer in the last month (that's about 75 a day, for those of you who care... which would be just me then). Thanks if you've been one of those two-thousand-plus because it's good to know there's an audience out there, particularly when that audience is higher than BBC Three's getting. A special hello to my visitor from Icelend, and a reticent howdy to the official who surfed in from somewhere inside the US government - Osama's not hiding here, OK?
Total number of visitors to this webpage in February: 2141

Count 2 (Google searches): Google searches are like a window on the soul. When you type your secret search request into that little box you no doubt desperately hope that nobody else will ever find out the object of your inquisitive desires. Unfortunately, those of us with webpages get to find out with alarming regularity. So, to the people who landed here searching for "aled jones songs between 1980 to 1985", "artist grandad we love you" and "steam engine blue prints downloads free", I know the name of an excellent psychologist. And be careful what you type in future.
Total number of search engine referrals to this webpage in February: 316

Count 3 (Blog content): OK, so I was wrong that you're only allowed to post 100KB of data a month on a Blogger blog without them charging you extra. That would be silly. And I'd not noticed because I hadn't exceeded 100KB before, until this month. I have at last succeeded in posting "substantially more than the vast majority of bloggers publish". Not bad for the shortest month of the year - and let's see if I can do even better in March.
Total number of kilobytes of diamondgeezer in February: 108

Count 4 (Spam): I never really liked Spam, nasty slab of reconstituted meat that it is. School dinner ladies used to batter it and serve it up when they'd run out of other ideas... which would have been every other Thursday as I remember. Alas, modern spam is just as unwelcome, and arrives far more regularly. Spam, spam, spam, proper email, spam, spam, fried eggs and spam. Just the thirty this month here thankfully, but over half of those in the last week, which I suspect is not a good omen for the future.
Total number of spam emails I received in February: 30

Count 5 (Nights out): Two years ago, when I was living in Ipswich, I spent three nights out during the whole of February. Now, as an EastEnder, that total's shot up to three weeks. It seems a little unfair to be paying three times the rent in London merely to be out of the flat for so much of the time but, to be honest, that's one of the reasons for living here. My monthly count's included two films, one musical, two gigs, five clubs, a fair few pubs and a depressingly poor attempt at ten-pin bowling. I suspect March won't be able to live up to that total, but I shall have fun trying.
The number of nights in February I went out and was vaguely sociable: 21

Count 6 (Alcohol intake): Hmm, that's quite a lot then - 16 litres in total, and roughly two bottles a day on average. Just in case you reckon I'm a complete alcoholic, I'd like to assure you that the total number of non-Becks-related alcoholic drinks I consumed in the last month was only two. Sadly that may just have convinced you instead that I have no taste.
Total number of bottles of Becks I drank in February: 58

Count 7 (Tea intake): Tannin's my real addiction, then, averaging five cuppas a day. We do tea properly in our office, with a teapot and everything. Us tea drinkers get five minutes gathered round the pot to take a break and have a good gossip, whereas the coffee drinkers have to go out into the rain to Starbucks to spend thirty times as much on a posh latte with all the caffeine removed. Mine's a milk with no sugar, no wet hair, no hole in the bank balance and no stained teeth, cheers.
Total number of cups of tea I drank in February: 135

Count 8 (Trains used): Some people (car drivers mostly) hate travelling on trains. Trains are slow, overcrowded, underfunded, overpriced and you just have to sit there stationary in a tunnel while the driver reminds you for the two hundredth time that there is no service on the Central Line at the next station. Me, I'm happy to let someone else do the driving, giving me a chance to read the newspaper on the way to work, eye up the talent and and laugh off the Congestion Charge. Well trained, that's me.
Total number of trains I travelled on in February: 103

Count 9 (Exercise taken): Why do people stand on escalators? More to the point, how dare people stand on escalators, with umbrellas, shopping bags, small children, suitcases, even pushchairs, all blocking the way of us serious escalator-walkers. It's great exercise, and in the last month I've walked up the equivalent of the new World Trade Center that they haven't built yet. Meanwhile, for all those of you who seem to enjoy standing on escalators, head buried deep in a fitness magazine, I'm more than happy to continue to walk straight past you.
Total number of escalators I walked up in February: 73

Count 10 (Mystery count): A whole month, and my mystery count hasn't even made it to one. There was a moment when I thought it might, but no, there's been nothing mysterious to count here all month. Obviously, had the total crept off zero at some point, I would have told you, dear reader, exactly what it was that I was counting. As it is, just be reassured that a count of zero isn't always a bad thing...
Total number of times that the mystery event happened in February: 0

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan19  Feb19  Mar19  Apr19  May19  Jun19  Jul19  Aug19  Sep19  Oct19  Nov19  Dec19
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18  Jul18  Aug18  Sep18  Oct18  Nov18  Dec18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

my flickr photostream