1) Why oh why was I wide awake before 7am on a bank holiday this morning?
2) Why was Oxford Street so quiet at 10am this morning, and was everyone else already at B&Q preparing for a weekend of DIY and gardening?
3) How many years ago exactly was it since there were no newspapers on bank holidays, no shops open, and absolutely nothing to do?
4) Why doesn't Heat magazine have a website?
5) Do Japanese people get married merely to make sure they always have someone to take photos of them when they're abroad?
6) How many times do some bands re-release their Greatest Hits, and how many people fall for buying them more than once?
7) Does anybody else have five 7s in their mobile phone number?
8) Are there any braindead children out there who've watched the latest Harry Potter DVD more than 10 times since it came out last Friday?
9) What percentage of Britons do you think gave even the slightest thought between 12 noon and 3pm today to why they've got the day off?
10) Isn't it great that Americans have to go to work today and they have to go to work on Monday too?
11) Exactly what musical note is the beepy noise that pelican crossings make?
12) If a picture of a 10p coin appeared on our mobile phones every time we sent a text message, do you think we'd send less of them?
13) Why did I wait until today to buy the Junior Senior album rather than go for it when it first came out?
14) Why are there now so many female-oriented books with pastel-coloured covers about twenty-something relationships?
15) Does anybody else remember Crime Traveller and wish the BBC had made more than one series?
16) Why, if picture messaging is the future, has nobody ever sent me one?
17) Are Goths oblivious to the fact that nobody could ever find them attractive except other Goths, and is that why they do it?
18) Why don't the Royal Mint just issue a 99p coin and make all our lives easier?
19) Why, when I finally get to the Tate Modern to see Anish Kapoor's huge Marsyas, do I find they took it down a fortnight ago?
20) Am I writing all this in my blog merely because I have nobody else to talk to?