The soap bubble is bursting. In the last few weeks we've lost Crossroads and Night And Day (no, it had hardly registered with me either). Now comes the news that Brooksideis to be axed, with the very last episode to be screened in November - the month of the show's 21st anniversary. It's a sad end to what was once a great show, because Brooksideused to be cutting-edge, must-see television. Rape, drugs, stupid cults, wife-beating, lesbian snogging, incest, euthanasia, surrogacy, child abuse, murder - Brookside Close has seen them all. Just not for very much longer.
By setting the show on a real housing estate in Liverpool, producer Phil Redmond developed a soap with a sense of realism and a real sense of community. Liverpool, City of Culture? It was then, honest. But Brookside has lost the plot recently and is now paying the price of plummeting ratings. Once on our screens in primetime three times a week, Brookside was recently relegated to the graveyard slot of Saturday afternoons, up against such stiff competition as Final Score and old Bette Davis films.
The end is nigh... but how will it all end? I thought I'd come up with some possible endings, just in case the Mersey TV scriptwriters are in need of inspiration.
Ending 1: The Close is destroyed as a police helicopter crashes into the garage, causing a gas explosion during an armed siege while the residents are under quarantine from a killer virus. (Sorry, these have all been done before...). Ending 2: Damon Grant wakes up in the bath to discover that the whole of the last 21 years has been a dream, and that the only job he has now is a bit part as the caretaker in Grange Hill. (Sorry, that bit's true as well). Ending 3: The cast gang up on Phil Redmond, hit him round the head with an iron and then bury him under the patio at number 5.
Ending 4: Brookside reinvents itself as a spin-off of Hollyoaks, called Holly City.
Ending 5: Ron Dixon sits at the videprinter reading out Saturday afternoon's football results.
Ending 6: That estate agent bloke from 'Location Location Location' returns for a special six-part series in which he finds all of the Close's residents a new property elsewhere in the country.
Ending 7: Brookside is revealed as the new Hellmouth, and a girl called Buffy moves in at number 666.
Ending 8: The police finally catch up with all the illegal murders, crimes and dodgy dealing on the Close over the last 21 years and arrive to take everyone away to prison.
Ending 9: Twelve new housemates move into Brookside Close and are filmed 24-hours-a-day.
Ending 10: Aliens suddenly appear over the Parade and abduct everyone, all vanishing without trace.
