diamond geezer

 Friday, September 19, 2003

Parental advisory

If you're thinking of going to the cinema this weekend, the film censors have been busy trying to help you to decide what to watch. All 12A certificated films now come with a strapline telling parents exactly why they might not want their sensitive pre-teenage offspring to view the film. However, I suspect these warnings have completely the opposite effect. Take a look at these 12A films currently showing at the UK box office and see which film(s) instantly take your fancy merely from the plot summary:
(contains one use of strong language)
(contains strong language and violence)
(contains moderate language and brief injury)
(contains moderate horror and action violence)
(contains moderate action violence and fantasy horror)
(contains mild slapstick and nudity and moderate violence)
(contains nudity and sex references and implied soft drug use)

I wonder if the same concept should be applied to U and PG films as well, just to warn us discerning adults that a film might not contain anything juicy and worth shelling out nearly a tenner on. Here are a few suggestions for some older films - see if you can guess which before you click on the link, and feel free to suggest some more:
(contains restless nuns and lonely goatherds and Nazi sympathisers)
(contains a non-stop string of over-exploited marketing opportunities)
(contains historical inaccuracy and lengthy overacting and mild irish dancing)
(contains fake East End accents and sufficient sugar to rot teeth at thirty paces)
(contains violent meteorolgical effects and unconvincing scenery and a yappy dog)
(contains excessive fantasy detail which may inspire your offspring to become anorak-clad obsessive fans in later life)
(contains no use of strong language, no horror, no nudity, no sexual references and no violence moderate or otherwise, so why bother?)

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

my flickr photostream