diamond geezer

 Wednesday, October 29, 2003


Ant & Dec
Most likely to be seen on: The National Television Awards, Pop Idol, I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, SM:tv, or any ITV show requiring two big smiles, cheeky banter and an audience teeming with appreciative menopausal women.
Started out on: Byker Grove (1990) as the angelic PJ and Duncan, purveyors of such high quality musical noise as Let's Get Ready To Rhumble and Our Radio Rocks, and they don't appear to have grown much taller since.
Likely next career move: Due to inherit the UK's Light Entertainment Crown on the death of Brucie, and will no doubt still be propping up Saturday evenings when you and I are watching from our retirement homes. Such nice boys.

Davina McCall
Most likely to be seen on: Popstars, Big Brother eviction nights, Streetmate, or any ITV show requiring a big smile, a safe pair of hands and and a comforting shoulder.
Started out on: God's Gift (1995, with Stuart Hall), Granada's very-late-night dating show in which four blokes tried to persuade the (usually) female audience that they had unsung talents with whipped cream. Mike remembers.
Likely next career move: Hosting the phone-in vote for Iain Duncan-Smith's successor in Tory Idol - The Rivals.

Dermot O'Leary
Most likely to be seen on: Big Brother's Little Brother, Born To Win, that thing with the SAS blokes, or any BBC show requiring a big smile, intelligent conversation and a bit of physical exertion.
Started out on: T4 (1999, C4) which let you wake up with Dermot every Sunday morning, and before that a DJ on BBC Radio Essex and the warm-up for Channel 4's Light Lunch. A few years ago I drove past the semi-obscure Dermot outside Colchester railway station and nearly stopped to offer him a lift to his old school's summer fete but, well, we all make mistakes.
Likely next career move: Either world domination or a nice photoshoot in Heat magazine. Expect full details here.

Graham Norton
Most likely to be seen on : So Graham Norton, V Graham Norton, or any C4 show requiring a knowing smirk, a complete lack of dress sense and a selection of sex toys.
Started out on: Father Ted (1996, cameo appearance), Carnal Knowledge, then a couple of weeks standing in on Jack Docherty's Channel 5 chatshow. Still lives just round the corner from me in Bow, but I have yet to bump into him in the local chippie.
Likely next career move: Moving his chatshow to America, now that faded starlets can't be tempted across the Atlantic on Concorde any more.

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