Thursday, October 09, 2003
Tube watch (4) Ten ways to reduce tube overcrowding
• Encourage short journeys: turn up the heating in the summer and install air-conditioning in the winter.
• Increase overground capacity: double the number of buses and increase the Congestion Charge to £50.
• Reflect best practice in mainline rail travel: demand seat reservations and pre-booking for all tube journeys.
• Increase available space in carriages: confiscate all rucksacks and wheelie suitcases at the ticket barriers.
• Introduce selection: demand that passengers pass an entrance exam before issuing them with travelcards.
• Reduce demand: shut down the whole system, because if there are no trains there'll be no overcrowding.
• Establish a culture of fear: place an accordion player on every train, or hang up gasmasks in every carriage.
• Reduce passenger numbers: install razor-sharp sliding doors on trains and remove all safety notices.
• Relocate excess capacity: swap station names to confuse foreign tourists, for example Chigwell with Oxford Circus.
• Invest in tube infrastructure: sorry, I've been trying to keep ridiculous and improbable suggestions off this list.
...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan17 Feb17 Mar17
Jan16 Feb16 Mar16 Apr16 May16 Jun16 Jul16 Aug16 Sep16 Oct16 Nov16 Dec16
Jan15 Feb15 Mar15 Apr15 May15 Jun15 Jul15 Aug15 Sep15 Oct15 Nov15 Dec15
Jan14 Feb14 Mar14 Apr14 May14 Jun14 Jul14 Aug14 Sep14 Oct14 Nov14 Dec14
Jan13 Feb13 Mar13 Apr13 May13 Jun13 Jul13 Aug13 Sep13 Oct13 Nov13 Dec13
Jan12 Feb12 Mar12 Apr12 May12 Jun12 Jul12 Aug12 Sep12 Oct12 Nov12 Dec12
Jan11 Feb11 Mar11 Apr11 May11 Jun11 Jul11 Aug11 Sep11 Oct11 Nov11 Dec11
Jan10 Feb10 Mar10 Apr10 May10 Jun10 Jul10 Aug10 Sep10 Oct10 Nov10 Dec10
Jan09 Feb09 Mar09 Apr09 May09 Jun09 Jul09 Aug09 Sep09 Oct09 Nov09 Dec09
Jan08 Feb08 Mar08 Apr08 May08 Jun08 Jul08 Aug08 Sep08 Oct08 Nov08 Dec08
Jan07 Feb07 Mar07 Apr07 May07 Jun07 Jul07 Aug07 Sep07 Oct07 Nov07 Dec07
Jan06 Feb06 Mar06 Apr06 May06 Jun06 Jul06 Aug06 Sep06 Oct06 Nov06 Dec06
Jan05 Feb05 Mar05 Apr05 May05 Jun05 Jul05 Aug05 Sep05 Oct05 Nov05 Dec05
Jan04 Feb04 Mar04 Apr04 May04 Jun04 Jul04 Aug04 Sep04 Oct04 Nov04 Dec04
Jan03 Feb03 Mar03 Apr03 May03 Jun03 Jul03 Aug03 Sep03 Oct03 Nov03 Dec03
Jan02 Feb02 Mar02 Apr02 May02 Jun02 Jul02 Aug02 Sep02 Oct02 Nov02 Dec02