On the day before Christmas... remember that Christmas is about The family
Mary leaned across the breakfast table. "I suppose we're going to have to stay with your family this year."
"Sorry," said Joe, "but Caesar Augustus has decreed that all the world should be taxed, so all us Davids are off to Bethlehem for the duration. At least we don't have to stay with your awful sister Elizabeth this year. She's been childless for so long that her so-called miraculous pregnancy is all she ever talks about now. And at her age! It's no wonder her husband's been struck dumb."
Mary looked down lovingly at the rounded bump bulging through her blue dress. "Well, this little one was a bit of a surprise too. I don't know quite how He got there, given that we've never, you know. I still reckon it might have been that Gabriel bloke who sneaked into my bedroom nine months ago, he could have spiked my drink or anything. It's conceivable, anyway. I shudder to think what your in-laws are going to think of you shacking up with an unmarried mother. Do we really have to go?"
"Afraid so," replied Joe, "there's no escape. It's the law, you know. Everyone must return back to their families this December, no matter how much they might not want to. My dad Jacob will be there, and all the grandchildren, and everyone else he's ever begat. You know you'll love it really, especially the big family meal. I'm looking forward to tucking into some ox and ass, or maybe a nice leg of lamb. Then we'll all sit round in the afternoon and listen to Herod's speech."
Mary shuddered. "I've heard terrible things about what Herod does to young children. I shan't be letting him lay a finger on my baby, that's for sure. Assuming He ever gets born, that is. The last thing I should be doing in my condition is heading cross-country on the back of a donkey. Why I ever agreed to marry someone who can't even afford a proper horse is beyond me. And everyone'll be out on the roads, heading back home to see the family, it's a surefire recipe for gridlock. By the way, did you manage to find anywhere for the two of us to stay in Bethlehem?"
"No, sorry," said Joe, "the whole town is already jam-packed full. Sounds like a multitude of shepherds have flocked there for some major hillside gathering. I even called round all the inns down the high street, but there was no room. Never mind, I'm sure we'll be able to make some sort of stable living arrangements once we arrive. You'd better pack some nice warm swaddling clothes though, just in case we're caught out. Now, what are we doing about sending presents this year?"
"I'm sore afraid," said Mary, "that I missed the last post. Never mind, I've arranged for three couriers to deliver some gifts from the East instead. It's the usual tat, just something shiny and a couple of smellies, but it's the thought that counts. I just hope those men are wise enough to follow the directions I gave them - I only asked for the one-star delivery service."
Joe smiled. "I'm sure it'll all work out fine, for the sake of that baby you're carrying. It'll be His first Christmas and we want it to be special. God knows what we'll call the little devil."
"Jesus, I don't know," sighed Mary. "Just promise me we're not going to spend next Christmas with the in-laws as well. Maybe next year we should fly to Egypt instead..."
On the day before Christmas...
