2) To reduce my spam intake. "You have mail". No I don't. I just have yet another unwanted e-advert advising me how to enlarge various parts of my anatomy, include some parts I don't even have. Just how many different ways are there to mis-spell V|@gra? And is it possible to bounce these emails back to the sender with a small thermonuclear device attached?
3) To keep my place tidy. It's not bad, but it would be better if I dealt with stuff immediately, or filed it away, or even threw it away, rather than leaving everything in an 'I will deal with this eventually' pile. Or piles.
4) To go up to anyone I see wearing more than one item of Burberry clothing and call them a tosser. Burberry, it's even more common than it was before Christmas. Looks like every would-be socialite in London was given a beige plaid scarf for Christmas and has been keenly awaiting this cold snap as an excuse to show off their latest expensive neckwear. Actually it's the fake Burberry that gets to me the most. Walking round Stratford shopping centre yesterday there were hordes of nasty imitation brown check scarves and bags everywhere, most likely shoplifted from market stalls rather than bought from New Bond Street. When any supposed 'fashion' item can be seen dangling from the arm of every granny in the post office pension queue, it's time to move on.
5) To go back to the cinema again. I've not been since last year. Surely there must be something on that's actually worth seeing.
6) To shed pounds. Not weight, you understand, but money. I remain the world's worst shopper, and it would be nice to spend some money on me for a change. I've managed to spend less than a tenner in the January sales this year, despite having traipsed round most of London's majorretailcentres. That's one half price book and 12 light bulbs. Pitiful. Must do better.
7) To search out new and exciting webpages and stuff for all my readers. Like this and this and this and this, for example.
8) To drink at least one of the three bottles of complimentary champagne sitting in my kitchen. But not all by myself. I just need something worth celebrating, and someone to share the bottle with. Hic.
