05:43 Prayer For The Day "Oh God, please let public service broadcasting survive."
05:45 Farming Today Including a report from Andrew Gilligan's remote sheep farm in the Outer Hebrides.
06:00 Today The cautious investigative news programme, featuring...
06:05 We ring Downing Street for permission to broadcast 06:07 Pause for Thought 06:40 Hard-hitting exposé of the Bolivian llama trade 07:15 What The Papers Say - mostly provocative lies, but the government doesn't shut them down
07:55 Commercial Break 08:25 A Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the highest bidder 08:30 Rupert Murdoch's Wholly Unbiased Editorial Half Hour 09:00 Kilroy 09:45 Book Of The Week Alistair Campbell reads from 'The Hutton Report' (part 37, repeat)
10:00 Woman's Hour Fern Britton brings you the latest showbiz gossip and make-up tips.
11:00 Any Questions? Apologies, but we're not allowed to answer them any more.
12:05 You And Yours Investigating the sell-off of the BBC proposed in Tessa Jowell's new BBC Charter.
12:30 I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Still wondering where those weapons of mass destruction are.
13:00 The World At One Special report - is freedom of speech under global threat (or is it just here)?
13:30 Appeal on behalf of The Lost Licence Fee: please send your £116 to BBC TV Centre, The Office, Trading Estate, Slough.
14:00 The Archers (sponsored by McDonalds, where the beef comes from)
14:15 Afternoon Play "Auntie's Last Stand"
15:15 Desert Island Discs Greg Dyke is cast away.
16:00 Meet The Director General Tony Blair tells us how much he's enjoying his new job.
17:00 PM Gordon Brown, obviously.
18:00 Home Truths The BBC Governors apologise deeply for everything they may ever have done.
18:30 Just A Minute Because that's all the news we're allowed to broadcast these days.
18:31 Today In Parliament All those jolly good things that the Government announced this afternoon.
19:00 Shipping Forecast Tape-looped for a full hour, because it's terribly uncontroversial.
20:00 Sorry, we've run out of money for today, so time to join Talksport for an evening of phone-ins and betting updates.