So, my life didn't change out of all recognition yesterday. Life-changing was on the table, and apparently seriously considered, but the final decision leaves my life pretty much intact. There'll still be major changes, and I expect the view from my office window to change within six months, but at least the two-hours-each-way daily commute is no longer an option. All of which is very good news indeed, because I really wasn't looking forward to a weekend scouring job adverts and filling in application forms.
But, before it fades away completely, let me just consider alternative universe 2 for a moment. Suppose I was suddenly looking for a new job this morning. It could so easily have happened, and I do wonder how I'd have reacted. What alternative job options are out there that I might have considered instead? How could I have escaped from a slough of despond? Here are a few suggestions, and if any of you feel like offering additional careers advice, well, you know where to stick it...
Infamous mystery blogger: Apparently you can make a six-figure sum merely by walking the streets of London, writing a weblog on the subject for a few months, keeping your identity secret and then getting your work snapped up by a major publishing company. Sounds like easy money to me, but I suspect the public are pretty bored by now, ne c'est pas?
Hollywood script writer: If you've been reading my daily reports from Bow Road tube station (see March 11th) then you'll know this rolling saga is just begging to be snapped up as the screenplay for a major motion picture. I think Tom Hanks probably has all the charisma needed to play the starring role of 'the blue wall', and there's still so much plot development yet to come.
Local historian: Did you see Bow on the telly on Wednesday as part of the BBC's new 'If' series? They used converted match factory Bow Quarter as the location for a drama documentary about the tensions surrounding gated communities. I'm surprised the twitchy residents let the cameras in, to be honest. You can read all about walled-off life at Bow Quarter on this BBC webpage, complete with a handy map that shows potential burglars where all the buildings are.
Bus driver: Ahh, I always wanted to be a bus driver when I was a kid. Well, for a couple of months at least. It was probably a better job in those days because nobody swore at you, there was less traffic and the uniforms were a nicer colour. Lucky escape for the travelling public that I've never set foot behind the steering wheel of a Routemaster though, because I'd be an awful lot safer on a bus than driving one.
DG: I think there's still time for me to apply for the top job at the BBC, now that Greg Dyke's imploded. How difficult can it be to fritter away the licence fee on DIY and antiques shows anyway? I've even got the right initials. Where's that application form..?