diamond geezer

 Thursday, April 29, 2004

And the time on Radio Local is just after 7 o'clock. Thanks to Ginny for the news there. Nice one Ginny, and love the new hairstyle. Over the next hour we'll be running down the Most Played Artists On British Radio Over The Last 20 Years, as announced by the Radio Academy yesterday. All your Radio Local favourites are in the Top 10, so you probably won't spot anything diferent to normal. Well, maybe less Beyoncé perhaps. Let's kick off with the artist at number 10 shall we?
10) Paul McCartney (No More Lonely Knights)
Lovely track that. The Pope should make Sir Paul a saint, shouldn't he? But the Beatle-meister has done well to get into our Top 10 given that he's not had one top ten record since 1984. Still, chart positions never stopped Radio Local from playing something nice, soothing and melodic. Just the sort of thing our next artist is famous for too. Mmm, I'm coming over all moist at the thought of Simply Red's middle of the road brilliance.
9) Mick Hucknall (Holding Back The Wrinkles)
8) Cliff Richard (Living Dull)

That's Britain's youngest pensioner there with another cutting-edge Saga Soundtrack Selection. Saga holidays, get away before you pass away. Joan from Croydon rang in and said she'd like to dedicate that last track to her late husband, so that was for you Jim. Radio Local, your blander music mix. We'll be right back after this short break.
(adverts for mobile phones, sofa showrooms and mortgages)
7) Phil Collins (A Groovy Kind Of Dirge)
Very groovy there Phil. I'm surprised he's not further up our Top 10, the number of times we play his superior lounge muzak on our station. Travel news just in by the way. Kevin has texted us to say there's a car parked on a double yellow in the high street and if there are any wardens listening could they pop down and clamp it. Thanks Kevin, nice thought. And now for one of only two women in today's countdown. Amazingly it's not Natalie Imbruglia or even the lovely Anastacia, it's that pop vixen Madonna. Hi to you Madge if you're listening.
6) Madonna (This Used To Be My Plaything)
5) Bryan Adams (Everything I Did, I Did It In 1991)

Ah how nice to hear that last one again. Must say it barely seems a decade ago since we were subjected to saturation playlisting of that Robin Hood classic. I never tired of the video either, what a masterpiece. We're delaying our lost pets slot until tomorrow by the way, but Ginny will be back at the Radio Local Community Action Desk in an hour so that all you bigots out there can ring in and shop an asylum seeker. Radio Local, wasting your life away, every day. We'll be right back after these messages.
(adverts for estate agents, insurance companies and garden centres)
4) Kylie Minogue (You Can't Get This Out Of Your Head)
It wouldn't be right to go an hour on Radio Local without playing a Kylie number, so there she was. Marvellous stuff. Nice arse too. Time to read out a few funny stories I read in the paper this morning, because it saves thinking up any original ideas of my own. If you're watching on our webcam we'll also be holding up some of the pictures from this week's Heat magazine and asking you to ring in with your comments. But next up it's the God of Daytime Radio Programming himself, the ever bankable Robbie.
3) Robbie Williams (Let Me Entertain Me)
2) Elton John (Can You Feel The Wig Tonight)

Are they all gay in this Top 3, Ginny? No, don't answer that one, or Robbie might sue. But Elton, well, he's so so supremely creative isn't he? Don't forget to tune in at drivetime tonight for our special 'what's that noise?' competition in conjuction with D&G Motors, your superior MOT service. We've got five Radio Local car stickers to be won, so don't miss all the excitement live with Mike at six. Radio Local, playing what our advertisers want. We'll be right back after you've gone off and made a cup of tea.
(repeated adverts for mortgages, sofa showrooms and mobile phones)
1) George Michael (Careless Cottage)
And finally, whamming in at the top of the pile there, it's the ever present Mr George Michael. Probably just back from some sordid affair in the local park, I wouldn't be surprised. But he sings nicely doesn't he? Today's local weather, it's going to continue dull and wet. Much like the last hour's music really. Could somebody go and wake Ginny up, she's due to be reading the news in ten seconds. And she's ruined that lovely hair of hers too. Radio Local, like chloroform for the soul.

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