Thursday, September 16, 2004
10 things to do in the countryside when you can no longer go fox hunting
Write endless patronising letters of complaint to the Daily Telegraph.
Go for a ride on a horse without feeling the need to be chasing something at the same time.
Invent a new sport where fat men in red costumes run across fields and leap fences before being set upon and ripped to shreds by a pack of small yappy dogs.
Campaign for something more useful, like an end to world hunger or the immediate introduction of rural broadband.
Climb into a pram and throw your toys out of it.
Organise a Barbour Jacket & Green Welly fashion show.
Train your hounds to be friendly, to beg, to fetch and to roll over.
Join the police where you'll be allowed to shoot, maim and kill things legally.
Get elected to Parliament and argue to reverse the ban on fox hunting, if you really think so many of the British population support your hare-brained, bloodthirsty, barbaric so-called sport.
Find some creative hobby that doesn't involve killing small animals, rather like 99% of the inhabitants of the countryside manage to do already.
...or read more in my monthly archives
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