a) For a fortnight in 2012, the eyes of the world will be on my backyard.
b) I live less than five minutes walk from the Olympic zone, so I can walk to the opening ceremony (Friday 27th July, 19:30-22:30).
c) The proposed route for the marathon goes right past my front door...
d) ...which probably means Paula Radcliffe will stop and sit on my doorstep for a good cry before dashing off to run the last mile in record time and win gold.
e) When the Games fail to sell out, they'll probably give free tickets for the synchronised diving to us local residents.
f) The rest of the country's taxes are going to pay for the redevelopment of my local community (selfish I know, but thanks).
g) They're planning to clean and widen all the local waterways, plus restore three acres of wetland habitat for wildlife, which has to be better than the silted-up industrial wasteland I currently live in.
h) By the time the Games are finished, my local transport links will be world class.
i) Property prices round here can only go up (drat, I wish I'd bought this place rather than renting).
j) When Paris wins instead, my London 2012 promotional biro will probably be worth at least £2 on eBay.