In the summer of 2002 I bought some Molton Brown squirty stuff to use in my bathroom. It's called black pepper body wash (even though it's brown), it smells great and I splash some over myself every morning before I get out of the bath. It's not normally like me to buy something described in marketing-speak as a "spicy infusion", neither do I care that this "gel formulation" is supposed to be "detoxifying", but in this case I just loved the smell. Yesterday my first bottle of black pepper body wash finally gave its last daily squirt, which means that this morning I shall be starting on bottle number two. I'm a little ashamed that, despite daily usage, I've managed to eke out 300ml of brown liquid to last as long as 2½ years. Am I really a bathroom skinflint? To uncover the truth I've taken a look around my bathroom and assembled all the bottles and stuff that I use regularly every morning, just to see how low-cost I really am. And here's the daily dg grooming selection:
There are just six skin products that I use every morning.
• Body Shop Ice Blue shampoo: I can make 250ml of this nice blue goo last a year.
• Tesco 'Cool marine' foam bath: This just screams 'chemical' and 'cheap', doesn't it? I prefer to think 'functional' and 'value'.
• Tesco 'Magnolia' bath soap: None of this squirty modern soap for me. A bar is much more useful, and costs much less.
• Garnier Nutralia 'Shower & Care': Ghastly name, but it's plain and it's ordinary and it works.
• Molton Brown 're-charge black pepper body wash': At £13 this is more expensive than everything else in the photo put together.
• Lynx 'Touch' anti-perspirant stick: I swear the marketing people at Lynx rename all their deodorant fragrances every two years.
• Not present: conditioner, aftershave, fragrance, cleanser, moisturiser, exfoliator, lotion, cream, make-up, concealer, powder, talc, essential oils, hair gel, herbal bath essence, fake tan and that expensive stuff that supposedly shrinks wrinkles and makes you look 10 years younger. Total cost: just under £25.
I may be clean but I fear I may be abnormal. My daily grooming collection has cost me virtually nothing. I bet yours has cost more. I'd like to know just how atypically cheap I am so I'm inviting you to participate in a special survey. How much would all your daily skincare products cost to replace? Approximately will do. Ignore toothpaste and other items of 'oral care', ignore medicines and tablets, and ignore things that you only slap on occasionally. But be honest - some of those bottles clogging up your bathroom are really quite expensive, aren't they? Any toiletrioholics out there?
There are just six skin products that I use every morning.
