I'd carefuly avoided watching The XFactor, this Autumn's Pop Idol rip off, until last night. Last night I made the mistake of tuning in (well, there was nothingelse on). And, erm, popular music really is dead and buried, isn't it?
After thousands of auditions and eight weeks of on-screen balladry, the British public in their infinite wisdom finally narrowed down the contestants to one pub singer with a 70s soul fixation and one quartet of clean cut accountants attempting to be the new Flying Pickets. Which of the two won is irrelevant - the fact that seven million people voted is not. Every ounce of drama was squeezed out of the three hour broadcast, which was quite an achievement given that music had formed no more than half an hour of the so-called entertainment. The eventual winner will go on to clog up the Christmas singles chart with yet another unnecessary cover version (oh God, it's Phil Collins), while the runners up should be packing out end-of-the-pier shows for years to come.
I forgot to switch off the TV after the X Factor's choking finale and so my senses were assaulted by 'ChristmasMania', the latest in a long line of ITV lowest common denominator music shows. Donny Osmond (no, really) dripped platitudes to link together a conveyor belt of festive songs sung by Radio-2-friendly artists with albums to plug. Imagine the brain-sapping nightmare of non-stop Ronan Keating, Katie Melua, Jamie Cullum, Il Divo and Westlife. I know this sort of thing appeals to a mainstream audience, but I found it musically bland and unchallenging. The whole experience was offensively inoffensive - mechanically brilliant but creatively dead.
At which point I realised why I've fallen out of love with popular music. I'm a sucker for an original tune, not an original voice. I don't have a favourite singer, I just have favourite songs. I don't care how technically competent a singer is, I want them to be a great composer too. I get no thrills from a beautifully delivered classic, I want to be moved by something fresh and innovative.
Sure the music industry has always had its fair share of insipid mass market cover versions, but for every Robson & Jerome nightmare there always used to be a cross-generational smash. Just look back at the Top 5 I listed yesterday for the evidence. No more. And sure there's still plenty of creativity left in today's music, but it just isn't mainstream any more. No, I have seen the future, and it is primetime national karaoke. Popular music is indeed dead and buried. And I bet they play 'Angels' at the funeral.
