This is my first five-day working week for quite some time, and it's taking some getting used to. So to ease my pain I've been videoing chunks of afternoon television to remind myself that the cosy world of midweek inactivity isn't necessarily as rosy as I remember. Take Countdown on Channel 4, for example. Richard Whiteley's daily parlour game is always pleasantly undemanding fare, but its commercial breaks hint at an unhappy netherworld of immobility and financial insecurity. Here are some of Countdown's advertising lowlights so far this week, just to remind those of you reading this in the office that work's not all bad.
Monday afternoon, first ad break (3:13pm)
1a) Cash Builder Plus: "Can you afford not to save for your future," asks June Whitfield. "Just a small monthly payment could make all the difference to you and your family."
1b) Seven Seas Pure Cod Liver Oil Capsules: "Everyone needs healthy joints," says Terry Wogan. "Millions believe that these capsules relieve stiffness and help them to stay flexible."
1c) Stannah Stairlifts: "Leaving your home because you can no longer cope with the stairs can be an emotional and financial nightmare," says Thora Hird's replacement. "Trust Stannah to provide a smooth quiet ride."
Monday afternoon, second ad break (3:27pm)
2a) Churchill's Flexichair: "Helps you move around your house in comfort. Looks and works like a normal rise and recline chair. Available in a wide choice of fabrics and colours. Why struggle?"
2b) Vale Upholstery: "We take our time carving kiln-dried hardwoods and choosing exclusive fabrics ensuring comfort and luxury from the best quality threads and seamstress skills. Take a moment to enjoy hand carved traditional elegance."
2c) Werther's Original: "My grandfather was always an entertainer, and he made me smile when he gave me my first Werther's. I'll never forget that wonderful creamy taste. Now it's my turn to continue the tradition."
Tuesday afternoon, first ad break (3:13pm)
3a) Norwich Union Equity release: "The money would come in useful - help see the grandkids right, treat ourselves a little."
3b) Saga Motor Insurance: "We never really grow up but our driving does. That's why Saga can offer low cost insurance for people aged 50 or over."
3c) Vintage Vehicles: "Part one comes complete with this highly detailed Triumph Herald. Only £2.99 (normal price £6.99)."
Tuesday afternoon, second ad break (3:28pm)
4a) "I knew the industrial accident wasn't my fault. Accidents Direct proved it, and the £3000 compensation claim came in really handy."
4b) "Are you a homeowner who could benefit from an Ocean Finance loan, perhaps by reducing monthly outgoings by consolidating existing debts?"
4c) "If you have mild bladder weakness, Tema Lady gives you reliable protection. Three sizes to suit your needs, all are thin and discreet, reassuringly discreet."
