50 really dull things I did yesterday: woke up before my alarm, poured milk over some cereal, brewed a cup of tea, had a very warm bath, ironed a shirt, took three attempts to tie my tie to the right length, brushed my teeth, shivered, observed leaf growth on the conker tree outside Bow Road station, jumped on a train just before the doors shut, got a seat on the Central Line (it must be the school holidays), walked up a very long escalator, smiled inanely at the security guard at work, got a drink of water from the machine, finished all the day's urgent work by 10am, looked out of the window, reorganised all the emails in my inbox, sneezed, got another drink of water from the machine, planned stuff I could have left until June, pretended to look busy, went out for a sandwich, found nothing of interest in a bookshop, ate a sandwich at my desk, got another drink of water from the machine, refiled some paperwork, sharpened a pencil, looked out of the window again, reorganised my intray, watched the clock, filled the shredder, waited for the end of the working day, smiled inanely at another security guard, bought next week's Radio Times, got another seat on the Central line, took two minutes to untangle my headphones, arrived home in broad daylight, found a takeaway menu in my letterbox, threw it away, brewed a cup of tea, grilled some pork chops on the George Foreman grill you lot suggested I buy, failed to set my video properly because the clock was still on GMT, reset the clock, ate an apple, watched the rain drip down the windowpane, brewed another cup of tea, watched an old That's Life show on BBC4 (there's Spitting Image and Blott On The Landscape tonight), brushed my teeth, snuggled up in bed, looked forward to a more thrilling Wednesday.
