Develop sudden and inexplicable urge to redecorate house Drive to well known DIY superstore on outskirts of town Spend fortune on paint, paintbrushes, mysterious tool for erecting shelves and some more paint just in case Drive 100 yards to other end of car park to visit garden centre Buy lots of ready-grown plants at extortionate prices Stop off at furniture warehouse to be enticed by new sofa Drive 20 miles to nearest IKEA, only discover that everyone else in your area has had the same idea Walk through store at a snail's pace, picking up several must-have items along the way, then join endless queue at checkout Attempt to park car in crowded loading area, then struggle to fit large flatpack box through door Drive home cautiously, unable to see through rear window Make a start on redecorating the living room by tearing down quarter of the old wallpaper and painting a narrow strip of magnolia Drill gratuitous hole in wall where new shelving unit might be located Realise that this is a very big job and wish you hadn't started it Attempt to assemble IKEA flatpack furniture, but give up after an hour and a half of swearing Look out into garden where nature has reawoken uncontrollably after her winter sleep Divert attention to pulling up weeds, cutting back shrubs and oiling the lawnmower Get barbecue out, despite it not quite being warm enough for one yet Continue to fill binbags with leftover foliage while coals fail to catch light Go back inside as darkness falls and fall asleep on sofa Wake up on Tuesday morning ready to go back to real work Wait until next bank holiday weekend and repeat
