Mid-life crisis (because, if I can't have a mid life crisis on the eve of my 40th birthday, when can I?)
My life is going nowhere.
I spend most of my time at work, where I'm overexploited and underappreciated. I arrive in the office far too early in the morning, I do a bloody marvellous job with care and dedication, and I'm often still there after everyone else has gone home. I get stuff done, I'm never off sick, I hit every deadline they throw at me and I smile in the face of adversity. I know everyone would be lost without me, but equally I have no doubt that I'm replaceable. I've now mastered most of what makes my job challenging, but I have no ambition to move onward and upward into anything more managerial or corporate. In short, I'm quite content to continue blindly into career obsolescence until some external influence comes along and forces me to move on.
I spend most of the rest of my time at home, where I'm underexploited and overappreciated. I look out of my window a lot, but I don't go off and experience the outside world as often as I should. I have nothing I need to do, so I tend to do nothing. I used to have a social life, back when people used to drag me out on a regular basis, but I've let that gradually slide to the point where nobody invites me out and I invite nobody either. I ignore the doorbell when it rings because it's never a genuine visitor. I've given up on looking for someone to share my life with, even short segments of it, because not making an effort is easier. In short, I've learnt to fill my time by constructing a webpage and then finding things to fill it, which is probably better for you than it is for me.
So, on the last day of my thirties, perhaps now is the time for me to effect a change. This is traditionally the age where men go off the rails and launch into a second childhood, perhaps buying themselves a motorbike, running off with the au pair or getting an ill-advised tattoo. But somehow I can't see me doing any of those things. Instead I suspect that my high levels of personal inertia are a consequence of me being satisfied with my life. I have a decent job I enjoy, I have nobody to support and I'm happy with my own company. I'm not in ill health, I'm comfortably off and I have a roof over my head. In short, I'm not desperate to change my life because I'm content with where I'm at already. And I'd rather be bored than unhappy any day. Roll on 40 - I'm ready for you.
Mid-life crisis
