00:00 The last election night in 2001 was pretty dull - very few seats changed hands. This one already looks rather different. All the pundits now seem fairly certain that Tony Blair has been dealt a bloody nose by the electorate, but not yet quite how large that haemorrhage might be. Me, I'm rather more concerned by early reports that my new MP may be a slimeball. 00:15 Five seats called so far, and Labour has won 100% of them. If this result were to be replicated across the entire country then we could be living in a totalitarian one-party state by dawn. No change there. 00:28 Without a word, the BBC swingometer has magically changed from the red/blue model to the red/orange version. Is this prophetic of a much increased Liberal Democrat presence in the new House of Commons? 01:00 36 results now in, and just one seat has changed hands. All the evidence, however, suggests that this will not be typical as the morning continues. 01:30 90 results now in, and Conservatives are daring to believe they've polled rather better than they might have dreamed just a few hours ago. The notional Labour majority is tumbling with every passing declaration. 01:50 Peter Snow (and his appallingly unrealistic computer generated party leaders) finally risks predicting the final result - a Labour majority of 68. 02:09 The 200th result flashes by (I believe it's traditional to say "they're coming thick and fast now"). The Conservatives are doing well in London at the expense of Labour, but swings appear to be between different parties in different parts of the country. 02:33 Labour privately concedes Bethnal Green and Bow to George Galloway. <insert your own swear word here> 02:48 Half the seats have declared (that's 323 of them). Already more seats have changed hands than during the 2001 election. 03:17 400 seats called, with Labour only 50 seats short of the winning post. Despite all the gains and losses, it's another red landslide. 03:42 As the rural Tory seats start to declare, all the parties are wheeling out pundits to explain why the result is a triumph for their campaign. 450 results now, and Tony is 25 short of a government. 04:28 That's it, Labour has an overall majority and a third successive victory. Now everyone can finally go to bed... except for me, because I'm still waiting for the official declaration in my own constituency. 04:32 At last, the declaration in Bethnal Green and Bow. George and Oona are standing side by side on the stage, like a white and black couple dressed in black and white. George wins by a narrow 823 majority, then steps up to damn Tony Blair, New Labour and (astonishingly) the returning officer. He promises to start a campaign to oust the 'corrupt' councillors of Tower Hamlets and replace them with a new elected Respect regime. Oona shakes her head, and I consider moving the hell out of here if that takeover ever happens. Ms King gives a gracious speech of defeat, then walks off into obscurity. I'm off to bed. I may have nightmares.
Vote050505: the morning after
