18:00 Fancy a quick drink after work? 19:00 Mmm, this is all very civilised. 20:00 Can't beat a bit of responsible drinking, can you? 21:00 Oh go on then, I'll have another, if you insist. 22:00 My round, I think. 22:55 Just time for one more before closing time... 23:00 Hang on, there is no closing time any more. Let's binge!!!!
00:00 Another twenty quid's worth of drinks please, barman. 01:00 Arsenal v Liverpool live on Sky Sports. 02:00 Police outside the pub give up waiting for people to leave and go off to fight crime instead. 03:00 Kebab shops still empty. 04:00 A few lightweight punters give up and go home. 05:00 Local residents storm round to complain about loud drunken behaviour, but then stay for a pint themselves. 06:00 Pop out to the 24 hour supermarket to buy a bottle of whisky and some nibbles. 07:00 Happy Hour. Yard of ale, only £1.99. 08:00 Breakfast time Pub Quiz. 09:00 Hell, why go to work? Go on, stay for another one. 10:00 Pub runs out of crisps, peanuts and pork scratchings. 11:00 Your breath stinks and everybody in the pub is your friend. 12:00 Number of units consumed now exceeds recommended annual total. 13:00 Liquid lunch. 14:00 Now spending almost as long at the urinal as at the bar. 15:00 Slouch under the table for a beery afternoon nap. 16:00 Schoolchildren drop in for a pint of vodka after lessons, as the country's morals continue to crumble. 17:00 It's all become a bit of a blur, to be honest. 18:00 Hic. 19:00 Drunken revellers spill out onto the pavement for a quick brawl. 20:00 Violent crime at record levels. 21:00 Hospitals at bursting point with sudden cases of unexpected chronic liver damage. 22:00 The social infrastructure of the country collapses. 23:00 Hey, it looks dangerous out there - let's stay in the pub and go round again...
