My PC has suffered Windows-death. If I try to turn it on, it shows me the blue screen of death.
"A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to protect your computer." (Protect it from what? Useless Microsoft programming?)
"UNMOUNTABLE_BOOT_VOLUME" (I have not attempted to mount any large boots recently)
"If this is the first time you've seen this stop error screen, restart your computer" (Typical bloody IT geek suggestion. No, I've tried that, four times. Sometimes Windows XP attempts to start up, but only for a few seconds. I still always end up with the blue screen of death)
"Check to make sure any new hardware or software is properly installed" (I got myself a lovely flat screen monitor earlier in the week, but that's not the problem. Using the old CRT makes no difference)
"If problems continue, disable BIOS memory options such as caching or shadowing. If you need to use Safe Mode to remove or disable components, restart your computer, press F8 to select Advanced Startup Options, and then select Safe Mode" (I am not an IT geek. I have no idea what you're going on about. It sounds scary and I might mess things up even more. This is as useful to me as a dentist trying to explain over the phone how to carry out root canal surgery)
TECHNICAL INFORMATION *** STOP: 0x000000ED (0x82B75AF8, 0xC000009C, 0x00000000, 0x00000000) (Oh yes, really helpful. I'll check my 0x82B75AF8 straight away...)
(Erm, is that it? Is that all you're going to tell me? Damn!)
I've been faced by a similar blue screen of death on my computer once before, back in 2003. But that was accompanied by an evil grinding noise from my hard drive, and there's nothing like that today, so I'm hopeful I haven't lost everything this time. Maybe. (and yes, before you ask, I did back-up all my important files last month. I learnt from last time, you see)
So, are there any marvellous wonderful IT people out there? On a scale from 0 to 10, how buggered am I? Is there anything I can do? Or must I seek urgent professional assistance? Smug comments about buying a Mac instead will be ignored. And please hurry. I'm having to type all this in on my old Windows 98 PC instead, and I'd forgotten just how slow the 20th century used to be...
Noon update: All working again, after some scary fiddling around with BIOS, Recovery Consoles and chkdsk. Thanks for all your help - my PC would still be completely buggered withoutyou.
