New ticket office opening hours from February 5
"A key aim for LU is to have more staff available in stations to help passengers. Staff will be deployed more effectively, such as from ticket offices to ticket halls and platforms. We want to get as many staff out of ticket offices and out onto the station to assist and reassure customers, and be visible to help address security issues." (London Underground press release, 03/02/06)
London Underground Staff Training Manual - roleplay exercises
Passenger: I'd like to buy a ticket please. Tube staff: I'm sorry, the ticket office is closed. Passenger: How am I supposed to travel then? Tube staff: You need one of those marvellous new Oyster cards instead. Passenger: OK, I'll buy an Oyster card then. Tube staff: I'm sorry, the ticket office is closed.
Passenger: I'd like to buy a ticket please. Tube staff: I'm sorry, the ticket office is closed. But Naomi who used to sell tickets is down on the platform offering cappucinos, balloon animals and foot massages to our valued customers. Passenger: Great. Can I have a ticket to go down onto the platform? Tube staff: I'm sorry, the ticket office is closed.
Passenger: Quisiera comprar un billete por favor? Tube staff: You what? Passenger: Un billete a Piccadilly Circus Tube staff: Oh. Er. Sorry. The tick...et off...ice is clo...sed. Passenger: Bastardo inútil.
Passenger: I can't be bothered to buy a ticket, so I'd like to vault over this ticket barrier while you're not looking. Tube staff: Don't worry, I'll carry on disinterestedly filling in my Sudoku while you abuse the system. Passenger: Cheers guv. Tube staff: And next time, save all that effort and walk brazenly through the luggage gate like everybody else.
Passenger: Excuse me, but can you direct me towards the westbound platform? Tube staff: Certainly sir. It's this way. Just follow the sign here labelled 'westbound platform'. Passenger: I know, I saw that. Tube staff: Then why did you ask me for directions? Passenger: Sorry but you looked utterly bored standing there, so I thought I'd ask for assistance just to try to make you feel vaguely useful and worthwhile. Tube staff: When you come back, do wake me up and I'll show you the way out.
Passenger: Oh my god oh my god oh my god! Tube staff: Calm down madam, what seems to be the matter? Passenger: I'm so scared they have bombs on the tube and they shoot people and I could get stabbed or mugged and I'll probably end up in a carriage with a terrorist and they have big rucksacks that go boom and I know nobody's been hurt for more than six months but I'm still so scared oh my god oh my god I don't want to die! Tube staff: Do you have a ticket madam? Passenger: No. Tube staff: But the ticket office is closed, so you won't be able to catch a train after all. Passenger: Oh thank you kind staff member, that is SO reassuring.
New ticket office opening hours from February 5
