10 things it's good to come back home to toilet bowls: Sorry to be blunt, but I really don't want to see where I've been after I've gone. Give me a plunge pool rather than a display shelf any day. bodyclock time: It's not natural having daytime during the evening and the evening during the night. Or is it the other way round? No wonder my brain's confused. Surely I should be going to bed now, not getting up? the English language: There are so many English English words that mean absolutely nothing in American English, especially when spoken in a London accent, and I kept using them in public all the time. Sorry, did I say 'ta', I meant 'thankyou'. Sorry, did I say 'packed', I meant 'full'. Sorry, did I say 'lager', I meant 'beer'. Sorry, did I say 'cheers', I meant 'hi there you're welcome have a nice day now'. different-sized banknotes: I don't mind that all US banknotes are green, but I did have real trouble with them all being the same size. You can have ten anonymous American notes in your wallet and still not know whether you're rich or poor. Celsius: Is sixty mild? Fahrenheit just doesn't come second nature to me, so it was very easy to misjudge what to wear. low sun: SF's that bit nearer the equator than London so my pasty-Brit skin wasn't expecting the harsh rays of the noonday sun. Maybe that's why nobody else over there had sunburn, only me. Or perhaps I should just be thankful to have visited during a very rare fog-free week. proper television: I never was a fan of Friends or Frasier, I'm not addicted to the West Wing and I don't think Jon Stewart is god's gift to humour. Just as well I was too busy in SF to have time to waste watching television, really. bendy roads: Straight streets may be efficient and easy to navigate, especially at road junctions, but somehow it's reassuring to get back to characterful unplanned curves. cost price: I'm used to tipping the waitress after a meal, but not that much. Good grief, it's extortionate. And precisely why should I give the barman an extra dollar bill merely for taking the lid off a bottle of beer, apart from the fact that his manager doesn't pay him enough? Who'd have thought that paying the correct money could be so incredibly offensive. work: No, that's a lie, obviously. Do I really have to stick a shirt on and go back to the office this morning? Bugger.