• Arrived safely in San Francisco after 10¾ hour flight.
• There are several ways to relieve the mind-boggling tedium of a long haul flight. These include nibbling on pre-packed artificial meals, seeing how many free drinks you can cadge off the cabin crew, queueing for the toilets, taking a piss over Northern Canada, watching films you didn't bother to see at the cinema, discovering you were right not to bother to watch those films at the cinema, discovering that all 20 of the in-flight radio stations are rubbish, reading an entire book undisturbed (the latest Jake Arnott - very good), and watching the over 50s walking round and round the plane because they saw on TV once that sitting down can kill you.
• During the course of today's flight I've been to Nottingham, the Outer Hebrides (somewhere around Stornoway), Iceland, Greenland, Baffin Island and Vancouver. Sadly I didn't see any of them because I was sat inbetween the two aisles (and the miserable buggers with the window seats had the shutters down).
• I'd like to apologise wholeheartedly and unreservedly for my environmentally damaging carbon footprint yesterday. If one of you could just pop outside and plant a tree for me, that would be very much appreciated.
• George Bush now has a copy of my left and right fingerprints and a camera shot of my bleary 11-hours-on-a-plane face. I'm not quite sure how this halts international terrorism.
• Yesterday evening's weather - heavy showers. Apparently it's been raining in San Francisco nearly every day since the start of March. This is very unusual. Apparently it's already the wettest April here since records began, and we're only halfway through the month. This is even more unusual. Apparently it's already the wettest year here since records began, and it's only April. This is nothing to do with global warming, honest. Weather outlook for the next few days - dry! This is currently very unusual, but good news.
• Your three favourites from my Golden Gate photo collection: crisis hotline; nuns; fog.
• The city is gearing up for tomorrow.
10am update (that's 6pm to everyone at home):
• I've just hopped out of a glorious long hot bath (yay!)
• The sun is beating down across the city - I may have arrived just in time for the end of the rainy season (maybe). Time to get out and explore...
golden gate geezer (day 1)
