diamond geezer

 Friday, May 19, 2006

Which freakshow did you watch last night?

Oh my god did you see the launch of Big Brother 7 last night? Where did they find those housemates, they're insane? I mean, they get more extreme every year. It's not about character any more, it's about excess. You can't just be normal these days, you have to be offensive, self-obsessed and hugely flawed, or preferably all three. You've got to make your brief spell in the media spotlight count. If you've been physically enhanced, stick it out. If not, just dress to impress, leer at everyone in sight and pray you get noticed. Did you see the council estate trash? They're probably rutting already. Did you see the stilted posh totty, complete with over-chipped shoulders? Their parents are probably disinheriting them as we speak. Did you see the Chinese Jimmy Krankie, the Welsh nudist lifeguard and the hysterical gay Pakistani? It's Little Britain brought to life, that's what it is. And did you see the Pete Docherty <w*nker> lookalike with Tourette's? You couldn't make it up. Roll on the next three months.Oh my god did you see the Eurovision semi final last night? Where did they find those performers, they're insane? I mean, they get more extreme every year. It's not about music any more, it's about spectacle. You can't just turn up and sing these days, you have to wave flags, backflip and breathe fire, preferably simultaneously. You have to make your three minutes count. If you're cute, grin. If not, just stick on a wig and a silver jumpsuit, get yourself some meaty backing dancers and pray you get noticed. Did you see the Icelandic über-Björk? Shame she didn't make it to the final. Did you see the Finnish death metal band, complete with pterodactyl wings? They were taking the piss, weren't they? Did you see all the Balkan states practising voting for one another? It's geographically incestuous. And did you see the Russian ballerina emerging from the grand piano? You couldn't make it up. Roll on Saturday.
more from Chig in Athens
more from mike in Athens
For goodness sake, pull yourself together and get a life. When's the football on again?

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