One of the unexpected side effects of this current heatwave is that my journey to work is taking longer every morning. And it's not London Underground's fault either. The additional delay is occurring outside Bow Road station, at the newsagent's kiosk, as local commuters stop and queue to buy a cold drink before travelling.
"Hmm, bottled water please. Er, no, actually, do you have any Sprite? Or maybe some Coke Zero? No, not reached here yet? OK. What else have you go then? Uh-uh... right... yeah... oh go on then, just a bottle of water. Still please, not sparkling. Yeah, still. Thanks. Now then, I've got a £20 note here somewhere, hang on while I find it..."
These seasonal shoppers really aren't used to buying things in the morning, and it shows. Some of us only want to buy a newspaper, like we do every day, and we know exactly which one we want and we've even got the right money. But these people just stand there dithering, as if the rest of us have all the time in the world, attempting to buy something they could easily have brought from home instead. Have they never considered the practicalities of filling an old bottle with tapwater and leaving it in the fridge or freezer overnight? It's free, you know, and much better for the environment. Useless planet-murdering tossers.
Then when they finally pay up and move out of the way I swoop in like a falcon, hand over my ready cash and depart with my newspaper in seconds... only to find the same idiots blocking my entrance into the station as they slow down to pick up a copy of Metro from the rack behind the door. Honestly, can't they buy a newspaper like anyone else...?