1) thelondonpaper
Born: 4 September 2006
Cost: free
Published by: News International (ie Rupert, Sky, the Sun)
Given out by: blokes in glitzy lilac, who really weren't trying hard enough
modus operandi: "Could you write the paper for us please, because we haven't got enough journalists to do it for you"
The editor says: "Every day thelondonpaper.com's team will be bringing you stories about the city you live in, work in and play in. The city you love as much as we do. We'll also have guides to everything – from bars and restaurants to cinemas and the latest exhibitions. We'll have survival guides and the latest London gossip. Oh, and more reviews than there are tourists in Piccadilly Circus."
And are there "more reviews than there are tourists in Piccadilly Circus"? no, not unless it's 5am
Front cover: clean; well-designed; colourful enough; big photo of Bow Road (but only because Pete Doherty was being sentenced at the court there); seriously patronising weather forecast ("don't forget your umbrella")
Plenty of news to read: yes, 17 pages worth, near enough
Number of press releases magically transformed into 'news' items: plenty
Typical features: "your views" (a quick quote from typical young Londoners); pet of the day; ask the Urban Doc; look good feel good; irrelevant statistic at top of page; thelondonbuzz
City news: barely any
Sports news: a bit thin, especially on local teams
Number of sudoku: 3
Dodgy 'love' columns featuring the phrases "sit on my face", "fat slags" and "rug munchers": 1
Does Sky TV get undue prominence? yes, but not as blatantly as I was expecting
What's the website like? not as easy to read as the paper
Could you imagine reading this for 30 minutes on the way home? yes, at a push
A typical reader: young, goes out a lot, lives for 'fun and mates', concerned about health and the environment, buys stuff (but not newspapers)
Is it aimed at me? not really
Would I take another copy tomorrow? if I had nothing else to read, yes | 2) London Lite
Born: 30 August 2006
Cost: free
Published by: Associated Newspapers (ie Evening Standard, Metro, Daily Mail)
Given out by: several pushy volunteers in cheap purple jackets (on £8 an hour)
modus operandi: "You'll never guess what showbiz gossip and fashion tips we uncovered while you were at work today"
The editor says: "With so much to do at work and play in London, sitting down for a long read is a luxury. That's why London Lite likes to keep things short and snappy... London Lite is the paper that never likes to come second. What's more it is as exciting and colourful as the vibrant city it covers."
And is it "as exciting and colourful as the vibrant city it covers"? no, not unless London is bitty and shallow
Front cover: very colourful; not much to read; big plug to article inside about cellulite; pointless claim ("London's first and original free afternoon paper")
Quality of newsprint: barely better than thin 1960s toilet paper
Plenty of news to read: well, sort of, but with a definite "showbiz" slant
Number of press releases magically transformed into 'news' items: plenty
Typical features: celeb gossip; celeb photos; Salon Secrets; eat tonight at the best veggie cafes; London tribes; songs to do the washing up to (chosen by wife of former Conservative leader Michael Howard)
City news: enough
Sports news: enough
Number of sudoku: 2
Misuse of the word "bloggers" to refer to people who've sent in reviews of things: 5
Does the Evening Standard get undue prominence? sssh, not a mention
What's the website like? exactly the same as the Evening Standard, with the news buried deep beneath entertainment and dining reviews
Could you imagine reading this for 30 minutes on the way home? no, maybe 10
A typical reader: young, probably female, dines out, concerned about how and where she's seen, likes her little luxuries
Is it aimed at me? not at all
Would I take another copy tomorrow? not even if they were giving it away |
