This is an email from a nightbus - a nightbus that talks. Don't expect to sleep past your stop any more, because this bus wakes you up every couple of minutes by telling you where you are and where you're going. "This is route N73 to Walthamstow Central" "Marble Arch station" A friendly but narcoleptic female voice keeps interrupting my night-time journey to announce every passing bus stop with unconvincing enthusiasm. "This is route N73 to Walthamstow Central" "Selfridges" I'm on board a double decker that's been fitted with Transport for London's new iBus service, featuring scrolling text and aural prompts. They call it passenger empowerment, and it must be extremely useful if you're blind, or deaf, or a tourist, or new to the area. But it's bloody annoying if you know where you're going. "This is route N73 to Walthamstow Central" Yes I know it is dear, you've told me several times already, and it said so in big letters on the front of the bus when I got on. Please shut up and let me drift off into sweet thoughts about getting home and sleeping for the rest of the night. But no, you're going to drone on and on and on, stop after stop, forever and ever until the end of time. Because, as TfL gradually roll out their iBus system across nigh every vehicle in the network, there'll soon be no escape from your patronising voice telling us something we already know every step of the way. "This is route N73 to Walthamstow Central""Oxford Circus" I'm sorry love, but this is where I get off and change onto another nightbus that your pre-recorded tones haven't yet polluted. I'd rather listen to the drunks and flirts and snorers than listen to you telling me where we're going, over and over again. Enjoy the silence, while it lasts.
