15 things I wondered at the weekend (and 15 sub-things too)
in Central London • Blimey, they didn't waste any time gutting and boarding up the New Piccadilly Cafe, did they? (how sad is it that, less than two weeks on, only memories remain?) • Why is nobody in this pub talking to me? (ah you dull bunch, you're all watching the rugby aren't you?) • Is painting your face gold and standing motionless on a box the easiest way to make your fortune in London? (why oh why do so many tourists stop to take photos and encourage these chancers?)
at the London Eye • Why is there a lady with a guide dog waiting to board the world's largest observation wheel? (or is she just giving her dog a visual treat?) • That queue-jumping wedding party waiting on the ramp to board their capsule, are they already married or are they about to get spliced at 450 feet? (actually, didn't one of my regular commenters do exactly that last Christmas?) • What's the point of taking photographs from inside the capsule given that the glass is filthy and the curved surface just reflects the sunlight? (will I ever learn to spend my time enjoying the amazing view rather than wasting my time attempting to photograph it?) • Is it over already? (and why can't we go round again?)
at Stratford station • Does this station have the longest, most frustrating ticket queues of any station in London? (and just how difficult would it be to build some new ticket windows, and indeed staff them?) • Why didn't I notice the grinning Newham youth tailgating me through the ticket barrier? (and was it perhaps unwise to call him a "bastard" to his face after he'd slipped through?) • Which idiot has hung hanging baskets full of artificial plastic flowers all along the subways beneath the station? (I mean, they're underground for heavens sake, who could possibly believe that these blooms were real?) • Why is there a man in a woolly hat on the DLR platform beating out a seven-minute rhythm on two bongo drums? (oh come on, where is the next train?)
on a rail replacement bus somewhere between Colchester and Ipswich • Did I not spend enough of my life driving down this bloody road? (oh fate, why are you doing this to me?) • Will that loudmouth student sat behind me please shut up? (OK, so everyone except you thinks that you're Tom's girlfriend and it's causing you grief, but nobody else on the top deck gives a damn, OK?) • Do all coaches smell of sick? (is there perhaps an EU directive requiring it?)
in a Norfolk pub • Awww, was it really 46 years ago that you two got married? (Happy anniversary, and do you want your pudding with cream, custard or ice cream?)
