If there's one news event that's guaranteed to annoy me every year, it's the early autumn announcement of TfL's New Year fare rises. But it's not the increasing prices that annoy me, it's the accompanying moaning from all corners of the media. That, and people's utter inability to cope with figures. This year, alas, is no exception.
"TUBE & BUS FARES SOAR" (Evening Standard) Ah, never an organ to use a subdued verb where a scary one will do, the ES pounces with characteristic pessimism. Oyster bus fares will be going up all of 10p, from 90p to £1. By the end of a week's travelling this might cost about the same as an extra litre of petrol. Not exactly 'soaring' - I think London will cope.
"Mayor announces increases of up to 10 per cent in the New Year" (Evening Standard) Now, stop me if I'm wrong, but a rise from 90p to £1 is more than 10%. It's just over 11% in fact. ES journalist Pippa corrects her mathematical incompetence in the next paragraph, but by then she's missed out on an even scarier strapline.
"TUBE AND BUS FARES GO UP 10%" (thelondonpaper) Er, no they don't. Overall, the price rise is 6%. There are only two fares rising precisely 10%. One's a Zone 1 & 2 Oyster tube fare (£2 → £2.20), and the other's a one day bus pass (£3 → £3.30). Almost everything else rises less.
"Capital faces big travel fare hike" (This is Local London) Actually, if you look carefully, some fares aren't going up at all. Buying a bus ticket with cash will still cost £2 and buying a tube ticket with cash will still cost £4. It may be extortionate, but not everybody's travel bill is increasing.
"Tube fares to soar to fill £84m shortfall" (Metro) Boris has made a big deal of this £84m shortfall, supposedly created by his predecessor, but it equates to just £12 per Londoner per year. A pound a month. It's not exactly the biggest most gaping hole ever.
"Rise will fix Ken's TfL black hole" (Evening Standard again) It'll also fix Boris's scrapping of the £25 Congestion Charge for guzzly 4×4s and fund the cost of replacing bendy buses with pseudo-Routemasters. But sssh, no mention of that in the lapdog Standard.
"It's Ken's fault says Mayor" (Evening Standard yet again) Because it's all Ken's fault, obviously. Last year Ken raised fares in line with inflation, rather than by inflation plus 1%. Londoners appreciated that, but Boris didn't. If only Ken had raised prices by inflation plus 1%, Boris could have got away with just inflation this year, and looked less evil.
"Elderly to benefit from 24hrs Freedom Pass" (london.gov.uk) Hang on, that's rather brilliant, isn't it? The over 60s can travel anywhere any time for nothing. That's not a price hike at all, it's rush hour fare abolition. Still, you can always count on the bright young things in rest of the media to focus on themselves and not the pensioners they'll one day be.
"It's appalling that fares are going up when the service is so rubbish" (woman in street) But my dear, if we're going to make the service better we need to spend more money on it. Sorry, but you don't get a better service by paying less. Do you not realise how lucky you are to live in a city with a cheap, extensive, accessible public transport network?
"You don't get a better service by paying less" (diamond geezer) Well, actually, that's not always true. Sheesh, do you realise how many misguided inaccurate statements there are above? You could pick holes in almost everything I've written, especially if you're one of those tedious political ranty types. And that's why I hate TfL price rise announcement day - it brings out the illogical vitriol in us all. Fares go up every year, get used to it.
