diamond geezer

 Friday, November 21, 2008

I hate parties.
    12 Jumbo Tempura Prawns: 6 Lightly seasoned, 6 hot and spicy.
I never know what to wear.
    10 Mini Pizza Slices: 5 Cheese & tomato, 5 BBQ chicken & pineapple.
When I see what everyone else is wearing, I always wish I'd worn something else.
    12 Pastry Boats: 6 Oriental duck & vegetable, 6 vegetable & salsa.
I always turn up too early.
    12 Sticky Chicken Skewers: Chicken skewers with an oriental style sauce.
I either forget to bring a bottle, or I bring something inappropriate.
    12 King Prawn Spoons
I never know anybody except the host, who's always too busy to talk.
    15 Crispy Duck Parcels: Duck & vegetable parcels with a hoisin dip.
I stand around near conversations trying to look interested.
    12 Mini Chicken Kievs
I usually end up talking to the really boring person nobody else wants to talk to.
    12 Tortilla Wraps: 6 Fajita chicken, 6 hoisin duck.
I hope he's not thinking the same thing.
    12 Mini Quiche Slices: 6 Mediterranean vegetables, 6 quiche lorraine.
I hate half of all buffet food, but because it's not labelled I never know which half.
    12 Spicy Nachos: 8 Chilli beef, 4 spicy chicken.
I sometimes risk biting into a filo parcel only to discover it contains yucky stuff.
    14 Butterfly King Prawns Skewers: 7 Lightly seasoned, 7 sweet chilli.
I hate dips.
    10 Mini BBQ Pork & Chorizo Kebabs: BBQ flavour pork and chorizo with onions on skewers.
I can't remember anybody's name, even though I was introduced to them all earlier.
    18 Mini Cornish Pasties
I look lost.
    30 Cheese Puff Selection: 10 Cheese, 10 cheese & onion, 10 cheese & ham.
I always think something more interesting must be happening in another room.
    20 Chicken Goujons: 10 Garlic & herb, 10 plain.
I often stand by a bowl of peanuts and eat far too many of them.
    10 Mini Beef & Pepperoni Kebabs
Sometimes I only stay awake by listening to the background music, even though it's rubbish.
    20 Breaded Cheese Bites: 10 Cheese & chilli, 10 cheese & garlic.
It seems impolite to be the first person to leave, even though I want to be.
    20 Tikka Bites: With cocktail sticks.
I ought to say goodbye to the host, but I don't want to interrupt them.
    18 Mini Hot Dogs: Hot dog sausage rolled in pastry.
There is nowhere quite so lonely as the middle of a crowd.
    12 Breaded Jalapeno Peppers: Breaded jalapeno peppers with cream cheese.
I hate parties.
    24 Mini Eclairs
Just as well I never get invited to any.


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