diamond geezer

 Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas is a time of disappointment.
Sending out 60 Christmas cards, but only getting 20 back.
Receiving a card from someone you decided not to send to this year because they forgot last year.

Discovering which song Simon Cowell plans to hijack the Christmas charts with this year.

Ringing around for a must-have present that isn't in stock.
Waiting at home all day for a delivery that never appears.
Traipsing the shops in vain looking for nothing in particular.
Buying presents even when you know the recipients won't like them.
Trying to wrap something that isn't cuboid shaped, and making a mess.
Wrapping two CDs as presents, then going to write the label and forgetting which is which.

Arriving at your destination and discovering you left a bag of presents back home.
Meeting up with family and remembering you ought to visit them more often.
Remembering everyone who was here last Christmas but isn't here this Christmas.

First discovering that Santa lives closer to home than you were led to believe.
Trying very hard to stay awake, but falling asleep before Santa arrives.
Being woken at 4am on Christmas morning by a loud text message greeting.
Being woken at 5am on Christmas morning by a bouncy overexcited toddler.
Being woken at 6am on Christmas morning by the onset of 48 hour flu.
Hoping for snow, and pulling back the curtains to drizzle.

Opening a gift you didn't want, and trying not to let on.
Opening a gift expecting it to be one thing, and finding it's another.
Realising that the present somebody else bought you cost ten times what you bought them.
Realising that the present you bought somebody else cost ten times what they bought you.
Realising that your most special present won't work until the batteries are charged, probably tomorrow.

Discovering that the turkey won't be fully cooked for, damn, another three hours.
Scoffing countless seasonal foodstuffs in the full knowledge that they're very bad for you.
Serving up sprouts on everyone's plate "because it's Christmas".
Opening the box of Quality Street to find only green triangles.
Opening the fridge to find three more days of turkey leftovers.
Buying lots and lots of food before Christmas, but throwing half of it away afterwards.

Being forced to watch Emmerdale rather than Doctor Who.
Getting home after Christmas to discover that none of your favourite programmes recorded.

Checking your credit card balance on December 31st, then panicking.

And Christmas is also a time of hope.

Here's hoping.

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